最近好多朋友生日哦! 可能是21岁吧, 大家都大事庆祝。

我项来不怎么在乎庆祝生日的, 其实有点遗憾。遗憾今年的生日就这样过去了...家里竟然没有一个人记得! -.-

那天还在家忙这个, 忙那个的... 换来的只是第二天一早妈妈问: 诶, 昨天你生日咩? 我都不知道。walao! 很失望! -.- 蛋糕都没有一个! 昨天看到朋友庆祝, 才发现是我们的21岁生日叻~ 难怪大家都大事庆祝一番~

真的有点遗憾啊~~~!!! 就这样过去了....... 我的21.... -.-

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突然的出现

突然出现，来自一位“老朋友”。

怎么，酸酸的感觉....

《最好的我》

我不在乎什么天长地久
我只在乎你想不想要拥有
一颗真心和温暖的手
在身後 陪你微笑 或泪流

我不在乎你下次回来待多久
我只在乎这心动前所未有
我不会走 Coz I Love You So
想给你最好的我 就算只是朋友

还想和你做朋友
想念 your big brown eyes
可爱的 lips I wanna kiss
I miss 想一直牵着你的手
但我还年轻 心不定 又能 怎么办

Boy 有什么话开不了口
No worries 我只是用脑想过头
拥有了又想自由 自由又想拥有
等待着 空逛着 有话别保留

他们说刮风的时候
你总选择要一个人颤抖
Guess You'll Never Know
Coz I'll Never Show
为了谁你不自由

我不在乎什么天长地久
我只在乎你想不想要拥有
一颗真心和温暖的手
在身後 陪你微笑 或泪流

我不在乎你下次回来待多久
我只在乎这心动前所未有
我不会走 Coz I Love You So
想给你 最好的我 就算只是朋友

信不过别人把你追走
也信不过自己暂时把你拥有
你低头喝着酒 别只顾喝着酒
做朋友 是保护你 最坏也是最好的藉口

我明白要你爱是荒谬的要求
我明白有些默契我必须要遵守
只是你眼眸 走漏了一种
BABY BABY 想爱不能爱的哀愁

Hey 好久不见 重记得你钟意听
不如不见 记得以前和你分享我的担心
烦恼还有我的骄傲
但现在我们之间却变得越来越有礼貌

When we broke up
你的朋友一定拍手说好
现在你身边的他们大概都不喜欢我
但是我还是我 我还一样地活
The reason why 我决定离开
There is Only One Reason
Why Coz I know you deserve better and more
没了我大家信不过的那个星座
你一定要好好生活 别想太多
为什么我写了这首歌 只想用心对你说
I love you and I still do I love you now
But It is just in a different way if I may
Hey Be sure I  know you used to love me more (appreciate)
But now as a friend
我知道当我离开世界的那一天
你一定会 流泪 在我的照片 前面
and I do the same
now coz I watch you man
coz you have always be like my family to me
这不是秘密
但是你身边仍没有 几多人知
流过的泪 说过的话 仍在我心中
虽然已经失去你
以后如果在街上碰到你和你心爱的那个谁
不后退 我会微笑 带礼貌 的心来面对

Song from you, or for you? The lyrics strikes right into my heart... 

3rd day of CNY, back to lonely life. I'm not in a good mood, definitely!
Things I like to do when I'm moody - listen to old songs. I discovered 2 songs which describe us so well...
最好的我 and 轨迹, keep on repeating these 2 songs.

I miss you~ Always do....

过年啦！龙年快乐！
过年，今年过年有好深的感触~
曾经不能一起度过情人节的年初一，
曾经我们的1.23，
这一切，都好怀念~~

你好吗？我好想你！
其实，现在的我们，到底设什么关系？
还需要坚持承诺吗？
我不喜欢这样的等待！
就像没有尽头！

又能怎样？
想要忘记你，但更加不舍得你。
想要在一起，但更害怕伤害。

信息，真的关心吗？是敷衍吗？还是只为了传而传？

我需要肯定...我需要你...

你，还在吗？

Perhaps I'm the only one cares. It only matters to me alone. Perhaps it's no longer important to you. Perhaps there are someone better. Perhaps there's something you dare not tell me. Perhaps I'm the one thinking too much. Perhaps it's true.

but who cares besides me? Avoiding me? Well no need, I'm trying my best not to disturb you. Sorry that I'm still not good in this, but I'm getting better and better.

At least in my dream, you're no longer perfect like before. Though it's just a dream, I take it as a reflection of my thinking. I'm telling myself you don't worth it! NO YOU DON'T DESERVE MY LOVE!

One day, I'm sure I can face you as a normal friend. No worries, you, don't worry.

我抱满希望, 我盼望, 我渴望, 奇迹的出现。

我天真? 可笑? 我笨? 也许...

只因为,我放不下.......你...

对不起, 打扰了。

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我喜欢你，所以你可以一点都不帅。我会拉着你的手，骄傲的在朋友们面前介绍。

因为你的外表，并不重要。

我喜欢你，所以你可以没有钱。我愿意每天和你挤公交，愿意和你一起拼命工作。

因为每个人，都有属于自己的价值。

我喜欢你，所以你可以很一般。即使没有任何的亮点，也一样会被我珍惜。

因为我在乎的是你这个人，与外在无关。

我喜欢你，所以你可以有好多哥们。我不怕因此会被忽略，反而会给足了你面子。

因为男人要重哥们义气，我懂得。

我喜欢你，所以你可以做你想做的一切。我会陪在你的身边，无论欢喜或忧伤。

因为我希望你可以因为我而变得更幸福。

我喜欢你，所以你可以偶尔对我发脾气。我只是静静的等你把气消了，再耐心的安慰你。

因为现实的压力太大了，我又能为你分担多少呢？

我喜欢你，所以你的家人就是我的家人。每个节假日，每个周末，我都会主动打个电话去问候。

因为是他们生你养你，才会让我有机会遇到你。

我喜欢你，所以我不会让你戒烟戒酒戒夜店。烦了闷了，就去做吧！

因为我相信当你有一天不想做了，自然就会停了。

我喜欢你，所以你可以有异性的朋友。也许我和她们也可以成为不错的姐妹，一起开你的玩笑。

因为这个社会无非就是男人和女人，我愿意去相信你。

我喜欢你，所以你纵使有再多的前科，也与我无关。你对我好，真心真意对我好就够了。

因为那都是过去，而我才是你的未来。

我喜欢你，所以你可以通宵打游戏。虽然我什么都不懂，可我还是愿意看着你玩。

因为有始有终总是好的，游戏也不会例外。

我喜欢你，所以你在家可以什么都不管。我会打理好一切，不让你操心。

因为男人要以事业为重，这点小事不需要插手。

我喜欢你，所以你可以赖床，可以不够男人。但对象只能是我。

因为在我眼里，这没什么可不好意思的。

我喜欢你，可以纵容你的一切。但前提是你要值得我喜欢。

我要你懂得生活，尊重生活，热爱生活，并珍惜生活。

我要你的眼里，心里，甚至是生命里只有我的存在。

我要你信任我，爱护我，心疼我，在乎我，把我当成宝贝。

我要你坚强，勇敢，自信，努力，永不放弃。

然后，我喜欢你，会和你在一起，会嫁给你，会陪伴你一生。

然后，我喜欢你，会听你讲从前的故事，会和你走完今后的路程。

然后，我喜欢你，会做你最有力的后盾，会给你一个避风的港湾。

然后，我喜欢你，直到我生命完结的那一天。

Time

Time, a mysterious element. It only travels in one direction, it won't stop for anyone anything, it goes on as usual despite of anything that happened.
Time, it just goes on and left whatever happy or sad behind and keep going till no end, keep going till the pass fade away.

Time, how I wish I can be like time.
I want to behave like time, left everything that had pass behind, keep on going till no end, till I die. How I wish I can be as numb as time.

Only through this way, I can stay a little happier than yesterday.

Life is wonderful.....Isn't it?!

我吃醋！是的，我很妒忌！

T.T 希望是我想太多。。。
对，我是自私的。。。 哪个女孩不自私，不会妒忌？

有个男孩说：“我们什么都不是，我不明白为什么我还需要凡是向她报告，还要委身给她。”
我替他的她，感到心痛。

有个女孩说：“那时，我知道无法挽回我们的感情，但是我又不舍得，只好等他开口。其实，我还放不下。”
她的他，不懂得珍惜她。。。

我呢，我说：“在我们的心里深处，位置虽然不大，但我们总会把一个人藏在里面。每次想起他时，都会感到心痛心酸。。。可是我们依然愿意把他留在心底。心里那位子，永远都是属于他的。。”

Christmas! Isn't christmas... When someone wanted to buy you something but others go and block the someone from buying it which they think you don't need it. Others, you all are so 'thoughtful' and thabk you very much!!!

2011 going to end soon and this is the worst year I've ever had! Worst christmas ever!

*at least I have my one and only christmas present from God--an ipad for christmas in my dream and tat dream made up my day!*

:)

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Hope~~less?

冬至快乐！^^

Went to Wei Min's house for dinner and group study. They tease me again with my bf LOL! >.< This is kinda weird... No idea but who cares? hahah!

Christmas is near! Exam also around the corner! Why am I not in exam mode.... =( I don't wanna fail........ Please lah.... Get back my study mood! Not play mood! Not any other mood else! =(

Aihh... emo again... =.= 

Will I be able to achieve my dream in this way of achieving? Dream, ain't difficult! Plan, easy! The problem is with chasing and achieving... With more than 50k is already in.. There's no way for turning back. 

Can I strive through this? Who knows? I may go out tomorrow, knock down by car and that's it! Someone might just climb in, give me a stab in exchange with a few papers in my purse, that's it! Who knows what's going to happen in the next second? I may just die of heart attack and THAT'S IT!!!

hope, or hopeless??

Prof Yap: If you don't study, it's your funeral. Not only yours, but also your parents'. Study, this is the act of responsibility, not only to yourself, but also to your parents.

Responsibility towards my parent, I cannot give up, no matter how difficult it is. Fees for second semester, paid. 50K already in. There's no turning back but just keep going. What if I fail my 1st MBBS?

Prof Boo: Stop worrying, nail yourself on the chair and study! Will the worrying helps you in passing? What for you waste your time worrying for something that cannot be solved by worrying?

Yea what the hell am I worrying about all these?

It's because of the burden. The loads on my shoulders. I cannot afford to fail anymore! I have not enough time to do my studying...

Helpless..... Is there anyone out there for me to lean on? I'm not as strong as people think. I need a shoulder. =(

I'm afraid! I nearly met with accident... It was so scary!!! T.T
When I close my eyes that scene will appear! If I do, I think I'll be in ICU now....
I need peace.... =( Please calm down!

Balance

When I was there, I don't feel good. I feel like coming back here, alone is better. I'd rather stay here alone without all of you. You all keep on nagging and nagging, non stop! Seems like I'm the one that bring bad luck to the family. Yea I know! I did!

Today when I'm suppose to come back here, alone, I feel lonely. I don't want to! I wanna stay with you guys. Who cares about those nagging?! I miss you guys!

I couldn't find a balance. When Friday comes, I can't wait to go back! Every Saturday, I can't wait to come back here in Sungai Long, and on Sunday, when it's the time for me to come back, I don't feel like leaving. I hate this feeling! I must overcome these! The only way is to resist on Friday! Don't go back, and it cuts of a lot of suffering....

I love my family. I really do!!! I'm no longer youngsters! Please don't turn me down everytime! Please don't ignore me! I do also need some confirmation from you people!!! Support! I hate those who look down on me but I swear I will never wan to hate my family!!!

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Why the younger one always get scolded? Why always we are the one that is doing the wrong thing? Why do you think you are always the one who's doing right? Just because you are older, you cannot accept the culture nowadays then you can always say us? who do you think you are?! SHUT UP!!! You're not always right!! You have ur own ways in doing things, we have our own ways too! Why must we follow urs then only we're consider to be smart?!

YOU REALLY PISSED ME OFF!!!! SHUT UP!!!!!

I'm so sick! So sick so sick to dream about that! >.<
I'm sick...........!

but the dream is so sweet xD

Headache yet cnt sleep... Kill me pls!!!!!!

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13/12/2011

Rainy day, ruin my plan! Planned to go pasar malam to get some vege for this week dinner but it rain! Oh no no more cheap vege this week... I'm broke this month, seriously! >.< It's just half a month and I left not much. New sem oh new sem, really need to spend a lot! Sick of maggie mee ler.... Don't wanna eat maggie again tmr... =(

What a bad day... Having headache summore... T.T someone please help me............ Exam is near again... Christmas mood? New year mood? Not at all....

第一次, 第一次这么想马上回到双龙, 就算明天是假期, 我也不介意了... 因为好想回到一个人的地方, 痛快的大哭一场!

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"i miss you"

"nvm, v can msn everyday!"

"i miss your voice"

"we will chat phone everynight!"

"can v skype?"

"sure!"

.....................................................................

"i miss you"

......................

"can i call you?"

..........................

=)

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Stop pitying yourself stop crying stop thinking about all these! Didn't you alr make your decision to let go???? If you do then just go ahead! Stop emo-ing alone here while he's so happy out there! No one will pity you! It's time to learn how to love yourself and be selfish CHONG SIN YUE!

我是一个不需要被爱的人, 因为我爱不起。

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Optimist :)

No matter how stong I can be, I'll turn mad one day. All these days, all these things... Why I must be the one bumping my head into all these bad things? I'm an optimist! I was an optimist! Bad things you're taking away all my happiness, leaving only all the heartache to me...turning me into so passive.

I would rather die....one day later when I'm totally break...

"an optimist give their best to stay strong for each and every seconds"

I'm giving my best to do that... It's either the best, or the worst...

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不用睬我！
不用理我！
真的不用！
永远都不用！！！

"你们要忘记背后, 努力面前, 向着标杆直跑。"

其实, 还未能忘记... 有人说, 忘记就是要先原谅。

我真的原谅你了吗?

原谅了吧~~

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煎熬 - 李佳薇

早知道 你只是飞鸟
拥抱后 手中只剩下 羽毛
当初你又何必浪费
那么多咖啡和玫瑰 来打扰

我想要 安静地思考
天平上 让爱恨不再 动摇
一想你就平衡不了
我关灯还是关不掉 这风暴

心一跳 爱就开始煎熬
每一分 每一秒
火在烧 烧成灰有多好
叫思念 不要吵
我相信我已经快要
快要把你忘掉
跟寂寞 再和好

得不到 也不要乞讨
怎么做 不需要别人 转告
在陷得太深的海底
我也只剩下我自己 能依靠

心一跳 爱就开始煎熬
每一分 每一秒
火在烧 烧成灰有多好
叫思念 不要吵
我相信我已经快要
快要把你忘掉
跟寂寞 再和好
我相信我已经快要
是真的我快要
快要可以微笑 去面对
下一个 拥抱

What's all that? PRIVACY! Stop sneaking at ppl's fb ok!

Explosion

I need a place to really express myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to EXPLODE! BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

='(

bad

Emo emo emo emo!!!! One week holidays shouldn't be like this! >.< I hate!!!!!!!!

What am I emoing now T.T

I really should have just stay in sg long... I belongs to sg long lolx! Very funny =.=

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<Sweet Village>

It's like a cursing.. Should I continue? Since April, I stopped and started to write again yesterday, and bad things happen...

No I cannot blame this diary lar... LOL childish! Nvm nothing will happen! Continue with the daily stories~~ I believe the taste will be sweeter and sweeter~~~ ^^

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敷衍

Fed up already really........ This is really hurting......

For you not important, but it mean a lot to me!

Maybe you think I'm childish... but I still feel it's important to me....

T_T

Commitment is a MUST in a relationship. Being in a relationship is not easy... Not only yourself but you and your the other half.

It's all about spiritually and mentally... Not physically...

If I say I won't bother anymore or you don't want me to go through together, to me it's killing a relationship...

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Ya if you REALLY understand....
Shame on you for having me right?!

So complicated.....

Please show some care.......

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Only IDIOT will hurt themselves VIVIAN CHONG SIN YUE!

ARE YOU AN IDIOT?!

STOP IT PLEASEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

='(

I'm disappointed, and a bit angry with you! =\

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I want to share my joy with you... I mean it... Can I at least feel your presence with me?

I seems not important to you....

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Pass pass I pass!!!!!!! Wooohoooooooo!

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Vacation?

Feel like going to genting so much! Anyone wanna go with me? Jom! XDD
This one week holiday is nt as exciting as i expect... T.T
Everyday staying at home... Today fall sick summore... :'(
I dont want......

Missing you~~~

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幸福不是必然的, 珍惜眼前人, 不要等到失去了才后悔。

by ShiYun

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R.E.S.T.

After 7 weeks of suiting myself in a new environment with new life, I'm now having a chance to rest! *happy*

Reached home around 1.30am just now, with TongSeng and Queenie. Gonna have lots of fun time with them!

During this holidays, I must enjoy to the max! (though I brought my books back to study lolx~)

*just to add something*
I'm struggling within myself now... T___T I don't hope for history please.........

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I hope it's me myself over sensitive....

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很烦啊!!!! ='(
努力的在改变! 改变自己!

也许最近的我很奇怪，
也许最近的我情绪不稳定，
我不想伪装，却不想让你知道。。。
所以我伪装得很累。。。

累了。。。。。。。。。。

100%

Keep your faith Vivian, trust and believe!

Do not hesitate to trust!
What the hack am I thinking?
Screw myself!!!
I'm bad! T___T

Am I the special one?

yaaa...... =)

等待期待

期待，

唯有耐心等待，

唯有把它深藏在内心深处，

等待期待能完成期待的人发现，

它才显得有意义...

等待期待~~

Complicate...

Feelings, so complicated... I ask for it so serve me rite...

Tell myself seriously NOT TO LOOK BACK ANYMORE!

but the feeling is still with me.... jealous....I want to get rid of it! *hate*

still, not compatible...still, what she had is what i wish to...
yet not for me... why? no idea...

after all i'm a girl...seems complicated but not at all...

我们的纪念日

范玮琪 - 我们的纪念日

我的心忽然又活了

总在见到你的那一刻

原来我也有过这样的悸动

只是在习惯自我保护后

忘了...

想聊的故事太长了

反而就都沉默的笑着

金色阳光洒在你双手上头

看起来好暖让我想紧紧握着

这是我们的纪念日

纪念我们开始对自己诚实

愿意为深爱的人

放弃骄傲　

说少了你生活淡的没有味道

这是美丽的纪念日

纪念我们能重新认识一次

有些事要流过泪才看的到

不求完美爱的更远

要过的更好

我用寂寞来惩罚我

看着你走过

要什么当时不说

此刻能有你倾听我

轻轻的转着　

那是种甘甜以后

让人想哭的快乐

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

友。爱

知道还爱着，虽然
一道屹立不倒的墙，
一段被尝试挽回，过去
对未来从满盼望的心，
彼此的努力，维持，
心硬，还是墙？

~友搭之上，恋人未满~

I hope I can get through it... No matter in which aspects....

I want back the original me! Cheerful, but not a book worm!

Thank you my fren, for ur love and care~~ Best frenz forever! Good luck in ur future, and don't give up! Keep running towards ur goal! C you there! ^^

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N.E.W. on 4th June

A new creation, Thanks God for this new life!

Being a "so call" Christian for years, I've finally made a decision to commit my whole life onto God's hand.

Dear O Lord, please grant me strength to overcome each and every problems, temptation of sins, and my worldly desire. May the Holy Spirit guide me and teach me.

I LOVE YOU GOD!

Here's a link where you can view some photos. Welcome!
http://www.setapakcdc.com/2011/06/special-event-baptism-for-vivian.html

Bigday!

Today is my bigday!!! Thanks God for this day...

Die to old self old life, and live the life in God's way!

Help me to overcome sins and temptation :)
To honour and to glorify You!

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30.05.2011

Tomorrow, 30th May 2011,
A new beginning,
Can I cope with it?
Can I handle it?
While I'm achieving my dream, will I give up in the future?
I always wouldn't believe what people tell me until I taste it myself.
And now I know this road isn't an easy one.
Once I've started it, I cannot stop to take a break.
No more excuses like what I've did for my SPM and STPM.
(Every time I say I'm regret of what I've done and I want to change, but I never success because I'm not consistent enough)
So will I be doing the same this time?
I don't know.
For now, I'll work hard and not to be lazy.
I must not let myself to feel sorry and regret!
No way out but keep running, towards the goal I've setted long ago.

I know I cannot do it with my own strength, but I need to consistently rely and commit to God as well.

I must be strong both mentally and spiritually.

ALWAYS TRUST IN GOD!

Dear Oh God,

Please give me strength to overcome these. I'm feeling so stress...
Please let me to have the knowledge on how to settle these... Please be with me...

Amen

你心机真的很重! 如果你不喜欢, 你可以不用假装你喜欢!
千辛万苦搭巴士, 都没有忘记把你那重到要命, 又不重要的死人化妆品带来吉隆坡给你, 还特地驾车拿去你家给你, 谢谢都没有一句!
转身就在facebook谢谢你的姨姨!
你的心肠真的狠毒! 你知道这样会伤害到人, 你就偏要这样做! 你这个恶女人毒女人! 简直就是毒蝎的化身!

要不是你老爸发骚, 不甘寂寞, 我姐就不会上你爸的钓! 他妈的!!!! 我真的很生气! 假惺惺!

你以为照顾你的弟弟们, 很简单? 要不是她, 你会有今天? 你弟弟带今天还会继续读书? 回家睡觉发梦啦你!

再伤害我姐, 我不会原谅你! 死八婆!!!!!!!!

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Today i'm a failure...... I'm really useless! I hate myself!!!!!!!!

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First and foremost, CONGRATULATIONS DEAR!!! ^^ I'm really really happy for you!

See you are harvesting your ur fruits now! Keep it up! Can't wait to see the day you success! Keep up the good work ya~ Gambatte Gambatte! Gogogo u can do it! ^^

I rmb how you supported me last time...Now it's the time for me to support you! Hee...

You have my support and wishes~~ jiayou jiayou my dear! ^^

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That "like" is hurting.......... =(

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~^^~

1st day move into sg long. Complicated feeling... My feelings are just like mix and match lolx! Feeling lonely too...

Received msg! ^^ so happy and I really appreciate it! Thank you so much! :)

A call, it really touches me~~ Never expect we could hv such a long chat ^^ it reminds me a lot of things.. and i'm really happy! hooray!

my 1st day staying alone isn"t tat bad too... at least i have u to acc me~~

A big hug for you! ****hug**** ^^

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Wishes~

Thank you for your wish! I do really really really appreciate it! ^^ Gambatte and keep up your good work! Rmb we chase after our dream together! =)

And to another fren, all the best to you in your future! Rmb my besties, I'm always here supporting you! Count on me! :-P

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Went to Subang Parade for lunch after fetching sis back from work. Our plan is to go to Sungai Long after lunch.

"What to eat?"
"Manhattan?"
"OK!"

Conversation between the twins.

Manhattan, yea I remember Manhattan...
I miss it so much too... but it was already different...

Another limitation? Perhaps...

When to be limitless?

Still limiting myself,
keep limiting myself,
not to do it...

it's 5.20, nothing special actually jz bcz of the date... But everyone hope to tell or listen the word from the one they love. So do you? So am I...

I dare nt.... jz like the lyrics
"下雨天了, 怎么办我好想你, 不敢打给你"

nothing I love you! I love you so much!

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I really feel like shouting "NG TECK HUAI, I ♥ you!!!"

and I can only shout it out here~~ T____T

Where's the CHONG SIN YUE I know?!

-dead-

好想，好想~

好想，好想，好想与小叮当交朋友
好想，好想，好想拥有一台时光机
好想，好想，好想让时间倒流
好想，好想，好想再为你煮粥
好想，好想，好想再吃你煮的面
好想，好想，好想和你一起逛街
好想，好想，好想与你一起看电影
好想，好想，好想对你诉苦
好想，好想，好想听你诉苦
好想，好想，好想与你分享一切
好想，好想，好想与你分担一切
好想，好想，好想回到我们快乐的时光
好想，好想，好想让时间停留着
好想，好想，好想回到你的怀抱里~

你和我, 我疑惑。
关系, 陌生。
感觉, 却很亲切~

你对我, 到底是什么?
为什么我感觉不出是朋友?

我对你, 真的只是朋友?
对! 也只能是朋友~

我讨厌这样的我们。。。
我不喜欢这样的关系。。。
贪心的, 想要更多, 却什么也不是。。。

不逼你, 也不敢去烦你,
希望偶尔的问候, 不会让你感到反感~~
只因, 我爱你~~~

学习去, 默默的爱,
学习着, 偷偷去爱~~

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心太软

你总是心太软心太软
独自一个人流泪到天亮
你无怨无悔的爱着那个人
我知道你根本没那么坚强
你总是心太软心太软
把所有问题都自己扛
相爱总是简单相处太难
不是你的就别再勉强
夜深了你还不想睡
你还在想着他吗
你这样痴情到底累不累
明知他不会回来安慰
只不过想好好爱一个人
可惜他无法给你满分
多余的牺牲他不懂心疼
你应该不会只想做个好人
喔,算了吧
就这样忘了吧该放就放
再想也没有用
傻傻等待他也不会回来
你总该为自己想想未来

好熟悉的一首歌，
好贴切的形容，
好深的感触。。。
独自一个人流泪到天亮。。。。

♥

When you decided to give your heart to someone, it's not giving him the right to love you, but giving him the right to hurt you. So be sure you give it to a right person. :)

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Preparation

The 5th day in Kemaman
Packing and preparation? Not much actually.
Gathering with friends? Yea!

Saturday, went out limteh with 91G. Tarcians are in Kemaman too! ZK, ZW, JM... Even WS came back from HongKong! Wow! It was really a meaningful gathering. We started to recall back our memory from primary school to high school. Those days were the time we stick together almost everyday! That was really fun.
Crush... Primary crush we've talked about.
FL liked QQ (according to boys, he liked her due to a reason that they refused to let us girls know >.JW liked WC, HS liked BC but BC liked KW, ZW liked CY, WX and BH were enemy. And more and more!
ZK liked WS. And guess what ZK did? He asked WS "what did you feel last time when i chased you" lolx! We were all shocked! hahah! He's always the most daring person.
And finally, they remembered my crush with JM lolx! Once upon a time~~ hahahah!
We were so naive and innocent, and that was our most happy time together. Hope that 91G will stick together always! I ♥ you all 91G! ^^

Monday afternoon, after fetching mom back form work, dad brought me to get an electric kettle from his friend's shop. Written RM78, and his friend only charge him RM48! OMG so I can imagine how rich he could be!

Tuesday night, limteh again at Sonstar-my first visit there. The environment there are pretty good, but the price are slightly higher than other kopitiam. Purpose of limteh that night was to have a look at WL's lappy(Thinking to get a similar lappy)but it seems to be too big and too heavy for me. So now I'm thinking to get Asus N-series wf 14" screen, and processor sandy i5 since i5 is already more than enough for what I need. Other wise, get a lower grade series (A-series) with i7 processor. Well, it depends on the price xD And I bought a new external harddisc! WL help me to buy it since he can get staff price hehee... (I did treat him a drink for this, and he chosen the most expensive drink >.
Wednesday afternoon, went for a hair cut. I wanted to cut off a few inches, but end up my hair is soooooooo short now! *sad* and *regret* T___T I wonder how long I need to wait it to grow back to it's original lenght... Drop by at popo's house to fetch my 2 little cousins (everyday they'll come to my house for tuition and homework) and met Ah Pak (my 大舅).He gave me an angpau, they call that "开学红包". My grandpa, my Ah Pak, my Ah Bo (大姨) and my sis' husband all gave me angpau. So paiseh~~ (happy too lar got money to settle my books and lappy =P)

So, tomorrow is already Thursday, so fast I'm going to leave my lovely Kemaman. I know this time I leave, I'll have lesser and lesser chance to come back for a long time. The most 3 days 2 night unless having holidays. And I know I'll be very busy with my studies after this. So moody to leave this place... T___T

By the way, I'm quite excited too! xD

Dare not, to disturb... Though I feel like chatting wf u..
Though I like to talk wf u...
Though I miss you...

I miss you so much...
I'll learn, to cover it up..
Keep it deep inside my heart...

Yea I need to learn...
Keep on learning~~

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Laptop~~

Yeah my laptop is no longer a long term plan! I get get it either this week or next week yeahhh! Hoorayyy!!!

Thank you GongGong,
Thank you Kok Shi (sis' husband)
Thank you Ah Bo (my aunt)
For sponsoring me the laptop!

Hooooorayyyyyy!!!!

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Good! Such an effective friend, to tease me on this issue!
You are really a good friend who care for me so much!
Don't you feel it's so annoying that every time needs you need to check on what happen to me, just to make yourself feel better?!
It has been 16 years! 16 YEARS! Don't you feel tired? I'm tired of it really.... Few years back, I've told you about this... I DON'T WANNA FIGHT WITH YOU!

So can't you just STOP what you are doing now? Teasing me or fight with me, became your hobby?

DAM*

第二波的袭击
一个月多，两个打击，原有的都瞬间被夺去。。。
好伤心好伤心。。。
这，是什么考验？
我，能熬过这考验吗？
我，有这么坚强吗？
我竟然开始怀疑我自己。。。

张心悦，你是没有本事的啦！不要发梦了！快起身！快从梦里醒过来，面对现实！好好计划未来，从新来过！

我不知道，几时，我才能不靠拐杖，自己真正的站起来~~~

Is that phrase referring to me?
Afraid yourself wants more, is it from me?

How I wish it is referring to me...
And I would answer you,
" Don't worry dear, I'm always here for you, forever ready for anything that you need. I'm not that powerful to help, but at least I have my ears for you. Do not afraid, as I'm willing to"

How I wish, this answer suit your question....


♥

矛盾~
我们什么都不是
自私的我却想把你占为己有
明白你的心情
更希望你也同样的明白我
却不想成为你的负担

也许，你们只是普通的吵嘴，
却想曾虚而入
真黑心！
难道，我不在乎成为第三者？
不！绝对不行！

一定，一定要坚持
自己的信念
对你有信心
我会继续的等

每一天，都有新希望
只求你，要对我坦白~

天！我自己到底在写什么？
到底在想什么？
到底还要什么？
笨蛋张心悦！

♥

BMS0008C
CHONG SIN YUE
910121-06-XXXX

OFFER OF ADMISSION-MAY 2011 INTAKE

We are pleased to offer you admission to pursue the following course at University Tunku Abdul Rahman (UTAR):

BACHELOR OF MEDICINE AND BACHELOR OF SURGERY
BANDAR SUNGAI LONG CAMPUS

The units to study in your 1st trimester are pre-registered as indicated in the Student Bill attached. You may register for new unit(s) or drop from registered unit(s) during the first 2 weeks of each trimester at your faculty.

Commencement Date of Course: 30 May 2011

You are exempted from the following unit(s):

MPW2113 BAHASA KEBANGSAAN (A)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just back from Sungai Long, found my room. ^^ Master room, but staying alone, RM300! It's a niceeeee room really!!

After I moved in, I'll take photo and post it in blog! ^^

原点

像是走了一个大圈，
我们，回到了原点。
虽然是原点，
这一圈，却让我们长大了不少。
所经历的，已经不再重要了。
重要的是，我们所得到的。

更懂得珍惜，
更懂得疼爱，
更懂得去爱，
更懂得，什么才是重要的。

过去，我们无法挽回，
未来，我们掌控不来，
唯有现在，我们好好把握。

今天，我们手牵着手，站在这原点，
一起为眼前的而努力，
为未来而奋斗！
加油哦！

♥

Dedicated to you~~

When the rain is blowing in your face,
and the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
and there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
to make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
but I would never do you wrong.
I've known it from the moment that we met,
no doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
to make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
and on the highway of regret.
The winds of change are blowing wild and free,
you ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
to make you feel my love
to make you feel my love


[i ♥ you]

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现在这样,真的是最好的?我犹豫。我,会贪心,想要得到更多,向那会属于我的。不,不在是我的了。。。要放下,真的不简单,所以我应该要学习知足。。对你的感觉,当然没那么快消失。。。如果可以,宁愿它永远持续。。你不需要,我自己就好。那份感情,对我很重要。。不能就这样消失。。至少,至少它让我感到那份喜悦。谢谢你愿意让我继续在你身边,借你我的耳朵。这就是我还能为你做的那么一点点。。交谈中的尴尬,难免。。你要知道,我,真的很好! 我,不难过!

如果可以, 我真像,真想回到过去。。。看见你被伤害, 却什么我都做不到。。。心,痛! 心,酸。。。你,要坚强! 我们, 都要坚强....

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♥

复杂

心情好不稳定。原来,放下真的很难。。。尤其是,这种时候。。。

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♥

也许是我太天真了...再也不可能好像以前这样...变了，就是变了...... 可惜?! 没什么好可惜的，因为我什么也做不到，什么也帮不上忙。

最伤的，就是当我想起你对她的，比对我的来得多...对，我在妒忌。

Dreamed, Planned, Achieving!

Yea achieving, I'm achieving my dream! I was so happy and so excited yesterday once my application status is out. My mood was at the peak! Thanks God for all these.

Matthew 6:33 - But seek ye first his kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Right after my interview that day, I knew I'm doomed. Thinking to let go even to Manipal since in India I'll be totally cut off from the support or church. Our only one true God is really GREAT and MIGHTY. Nothing is impossible in Him. When we honour Him, he'll honour us. So always put God in the first place. What I've gain today is not because of who I am, but because of God. Thanks God and PRAISE the LORD! I'm still on my way learning to please and honour you God. Guide me and please show me your way.

April 2011, a month that I'll never forget, packed with a lot of stuff that made me grow.

Teck Huai:" All these happened must be a reason. What we need to do is to continue looking forward"

Yeah I'm totally agree with you! All the best to you and keep up the good work =)) Don't let things that's not worth to distract you from your studies and your goal. Let's JIAYOU together!

Limitation

I have to limit myself on something. I must! I don't wanna let things around hurt myself anymore...

1. Pavilion GSC

• Our 1st date, our 1st movie. Our 2nd valentine which we celebrated it together for the 1st time. Tickets are still with me, and I'll keep it well, in a place where I'll not see it easily. You said:"Every important event for us, we must come back to Pavilion GSC. Every valentine."

So I tell myself, I'll not go Pavilion for movies again.

2. Wangsa Walk Popoyes

• Here is the place we discussed about our future. And when we talked about religion-the main obstacle for us, we both cried. We cried because we are afraid to lose each other. We cried because we don't wanna lose each other. "No matter what, I'm sure we can overcome it together! because I love you..." you said.

3. Loh Pan Mee

• Your favorite food. And because of you, I get to know this dish. It's really yummy licious! Everytime we went to TBR for lunch, this is your 1st choice, with a lot of vinegar! A lot! But I love the taste. And I started to love this dish-Loh Pan Mee.

For now, no more Loh Pan Mee for me! =)

4. Snowflakes

• Again, this is the food you introduce to me. And it is really tasty and sweet! I love it! It was during 14/2.

Thanks for all the happy moment you've gave me. And because of your unfaithful, I grow up a lot.

每一个不敢再爱的女人，一定很深的爱过，看起来好象百毒不侵，其实早已百毒侵身。

Quoted from someone and A.G.R.E.E. with her! ^^

It's time to give my blog a new face! muahahahahaha!!

I wanna make it alive!

I miss you so much~~~ Want to find you, but I don't think it's an good idea... When can we have a chat? Just normal friend chat will do... I miss doing things with you... Anything things... Even when we're just sitting in the same DK, concentrating to our lecturer...

At least, we have something in common......

回到家，有好多感触哦~
开心，伤心，可笑，可惜，可乐，遗憾，难忘。。。统统都从我脑海里涌了出来。

人家说，死前往事会一幕幕的浮现。原来在一段感情结束之前，也会有同样的事情发生。

最近的心情好复杂。我还以为自己快疯了！哈哈！

我，向来就是个开朗的人。无论遇到什么，我都会先笑！（不是敷衍啦 =.=）笑一笑，没什么过不了嘛~

撑下去吧！时间很快的就会把记忆冲淡的！加油哦！

如果我这样做，会让你感到好过一点，我愿意。。。
希望，这不是我一厢情愿；
希望，你至少还有那么一点点的在乎；
希望，能在你心里多逗留一下；
希望，你脑海里还有那么一点点我们的回忆。。。

啊啊啊~~~傻婆！哈哈！想太多，犯贱 >.<"

好啦好啦，我不想。。。很努力的，我不去想，不去看。。。

我很清楚，现在最重要的是什么！
与神的关系！

你们要先求他的国和他的义，这一切都比家给你们。
（马太福音 6:33）

你对她做的，你从来没对我做过。。。
我真失败。。。。

计划，在筹备当中。。。。。

丁当~很爱过

谢谢你从来没有觉得我不够好
谢谢你守护我的每一分每一秒
谢谢当天塌下了 你也会帮我顶着
你的固执 谁才会懂
终于让时间回过头来笑我们傻
等暴雨都要淋过才能逼得人成长
没有地久没有天长 没有最美的花 只有遗忘能让眼泪流光
很爱过 很痛过 我们为了彼此而活过
你爱我 拥抱着我 却让我看不见星空
我们都 没有错 没有谁比较寂寞
我的世界早已经不是一切
也许以后再也没人比你更爱我
也许以后我也不可能再那样活
每当想起你的时候 快乐都比较多
也许快乐 是时间的幽默
很爱过 很痛过 我们为了彼此而活过
你爱我 拥抱着我 却让我看不见星空
我们都 没有错 没有谁比较寂寞
我的世界早已经不是一切
多少天 多少夜 爱一个人很难 爱自己更难
清晨醒来所有美梦都不见
很爱过 很痛过 我们为了彼此而活过
你爱我 拥抱着我 却让我看不见星空
我们都 没有错 没有谁比较寂寞
我的世界早已经不是一切

曾经，是多么的美好~~~

记得~林俊杰

谁还记得
是谁先说永远的爱我
以前的一句话
是我们以后的伤口
过了太久
没人记得当初那些温柔
我和你手牵手
说要一起走到最后
我们都忘了
这条路走了多久
心中是清楚的
有一天有一天都会停的
让时间说真话
虽然我也害怕
在天黑了以后
我们都不知道会不会有以后
谁还记得
是谁先说永远的爱我
以前的一句话
是我们以后的伤口
过了太久
没人记得当初那些温柔
我和你手牵手
说要一起走到最后
我们都累了
却没办法往回走
两颗心都迷惑
怎么说怎么说都没有救
亲爱的为什么
也许你也不懂
两个相爱的人
等着对方先说找分开的理由
谁还记得爱情开始变化的时候
我和你的眼中
看见了不同的天空
走的太远
终于走到分岔路的路口
是不是你和我
要有两个相反的梦
谁还记得
是谁先说永远的爱我
以前的一句话
是我们以后的伤口
过了太久
没人记得当初那些温柔
我和你手牵手
说要一起走到最后
我和你手牵手
说要一起走到以后

我，撑得有点累了。。。

莫名其妙

Someone asked me to be her gf >.<" I never knew that you have this feeling on me... You know, we are friends, for so many years... I cherish our friendship really..

Furthermore, friendship last longer than couple... Don't wish to lose you as my friend...

I'm sorry...

Recovering~

I'm, feeling better today. Yea better! I'm happy and proud of myself! I removed the girl from my friend list. Not as painful as before when I read all those. I guess, I'm recovering! My body defense system not bad mar... ^^ Uncountable white blood cell! muahahahaha! This is, consider cell mediated mechanism huh? lolx! Biology! It has been a long time ago I touch it...

Have a wonderful chat yesterday night. Yea there's hope when we dream! ^^ DREAM Chong Sin Yue! DREAM! haha!

It's the END

So this is the end of our story? Forcing myself to accept this....Promise me don't delete this blog, just like what you did to our photo in FB... This will be the last thing I hope you do for me...

Why don't you cherish what we have?

And do you know what you've done now it's actually hurting me? It stabs deeply into my heart~~ HURTS!

It hurts~~~~~

You might forget me I know... But bear in mind, I'll always remember how special you are to me....

The 4th day, I hope I'll be better. Ya I'm better now. I know I'm stroung enough to handle this!

Yesterday Pr Joy's preaching: "Why a relationship cannot last long?" I was surprised that the answer was "because human and proud"

Today in office, I think of this statement, very carefully and clearly. Yeah men's pride cause a relationship to be so temporal. When someone chase after pride and glory of himself, he'll try his very best to achieve what he want. As I know, he's aiming for dean list to get the scholarship, and I just knew that the girl is in the dean list too. They'll do better to squeeze themselves into the dean list by this I suppose? I don't know. I was so upset that the girl even add me in FB. Well I'm not that type of tiny hearted, so I accepted her. Why not a friend than an enemy right?

What I'm very clear for now is, I'll set up my own goal, my own vision, run after my goal and glorify God. For everything I have, is because of God. I'll honour Him.

My goal:
1. Quiet down my heart, be serious in God and commit my life to him.(Baptise)
2. Try my best to get a place in Melaka Manipal Medical College
3. Give my very best, aiming for JPA scholarship after first sem.
4. Live a life that I can bring people towards God.

Sin Yue, JiaYou!

How? Everywhere in KL have our memory, every places i go i'll recall a lot a lot.... I dnt like KL! I dnt like Setapak.. I dnt like JJ, i dnt like Tarc. I dnt like pv12, i dnt like every places v've went together.... :'(

Worst

About one month, a few posts in FB, in the same class for one month, borrowing laptop for few times, so now all these replaced our more than one year relationship? Things we gone through together? Things we did together? All these not even comparable to your one month in Sarawak?

I'm really hurt this time... My heart is so painful.... I never feel this pain before.....This I can say, is the worst thing I met...

Trusted someone so much and yet, it jz ends like this... Why do we insist last time? Why? I'm feeling like an idiot now.... Can men be trusted? He was so honest and sincere when he told me all those... I choose to trust him... and now c what happened?

"The girl chase me"

ya so? She chase you and you must accept her? I dnt know... I dnt wan to hate you really... and i dnt wan to lose u as well.... at least, we can be friend... keep in touch...

I must! I must recover ASAP! CHONG SIN YUE! Be tough! Even if ur heart is pain, you can stand for that! Be tough!