It's the END

So this is the end of our story? Forcing myself to accept this....Promise me don't delete this blog, just like what you did to our photo in FB... This will be the last thing I hope you do for me...

Why don't you cherish what we have?

And do you know what you've done now it's actually hurting me? It stabs deeply into my heart~~ HURTS!

It hurts~~~~~

You might forget me I know... But bear in mind, I'll always remember how special you are to me....

The 4th day, I hope I'll be better. Ya I'm better now. I know I'm stroung enough to handle this!

Yesterday Pr Joy's preaching: "Why a relationship cannot last long?" I was surprised that the answer was "because human and proud"

Today in office, I think of this statement, very carefully and clearly. Yeah men's pride cause a relationship to be so temporal. When someone chase after pride and glory of himself, he'll try his very best to achieve what he want. As I know, he's aiming for dean list to get the scholarship, and I just knew that the girl is in the dean list too. They'll do better to squeeze themselves into the dean list by this I suppose? I don't know. I was so upset that the girl even add me in FB. Well I'm not that type of tiny hearted, so I accepted her. Why not a friend than an enemy right?

What I'm very clear for now is, I'll set up my own goal, my own vision, run after my goal and glorify God. For everything I have, is because of God. I'll honour Him.

My goal:
1. Quiet down my heart, be serious in God and commit my life to him.(Baptise)
2. Try my best to get a place in Melaka Manipal Medical College
3. Give my very best, aiming for JPA scholarship after first sem.
4. Live a life that I can bring people towards God.

Sin Yue, JiaYou!

How? Everywhere in KL have our memory, every places i go i'll recall a lot a lot.... I dnt like KL! I dnt like Setapak.. I dnt like JJ, i dnt like Tarc. I dnt like pv12, i dnt like every places v've went together.... :'(

Worst

About one month, a few posts in FB, in the same class for one month, borrowing laptop for few times, so now all these replaced our more than one year relationship? Things we gone through together? Things we did together? All these not even comparable to your one month in Sarawak?

I'm really hurt this time... My heart is so painful.... I never feel this pain before.....This I can say, is the worst thing I met...

Trusted someone so much and yet, it jz ends like this... Why do we insist last time? Why? I'm feeling like an idiot now.... Can men be trusted? He was so honest and sincere when he told me all those... I choose to trust him... and now c what happened?

"The girl chase me"

ya so? She chase you and you must accept her? I dnt know... I dnt wan to hate you really... and i dnt wan to lose u as well.... at least, we can be friend... keep in touch...

I must! I must recover ASAP! CHONG SIN YUE! Be tough! Even if ur heart is pain, you can stand for that! Be tough!

Samsung Galaxy Ace

My "big sis" suggested to visit Mid Valley last Saturday because she wanted to get a new wok, and her husband intended to buy a new luggage. Well, we all went there together. Before that I did planned to get a new phone and trade in my SE phone. Guess what? I left my SE home >.<"

I was so moody that I couldn't get my phone on that day. Eventually, my sis told me I can actually don't trade in the phone because it's not at high price. Why not we fixed the phone and use it as a backup phone? Well, not a bad idea! (because I have an excuse to buy a new phone on that day itself!)

After having our dinner in The Gardens' food court, (the food there was no so bad even they're only a food court!) my twin sis and I went to Samsung shop! As I alr know which phone I want, we spent not much time in the shop. Around half an hour there. RM999 for the phone, and I upgrade it to RM1099 which come with 8gb memory card and a screen protector. I ♥ my phone! ^^

The phone is greatz! One thing I don't like is that the phone will sometimes lag when I'm playing games.. I tot 800mb RAM is fast enough? lolx! Who knows?

Up to now I'm still quite satisfy with this phone. hooray! Finally i got my first smart phone! yeah!

Don't be too sensitive. It's not like what I think! You have to believe and trust with no doubt CHONG SIN YUE!!

No I cannot play FB anymore... It'll only develop my suspicious character =(

Why after people gather, they must be separated? 91G, 10S2a, all same case.... aih..... Why relationship between men cannot last long...

Can any relationship between men last long just like relationship between men and God? Yea can, in the blessing of God...

23.03.2011

I hate bad dream! It will spoil my whole day mood! Some more, the dream is so real.... I'm afraid that my dream will come true.... If it's a dream of my dream, I don't mind but it is not! So please....please don't come! Someone please don't act this way... The dream i dreamed seems true if we continue like this... >.<" I can do nothing...

I don't want to be moody! took my McD breakfast, feels better... 23.03.2011, please end soon! I want back my spirit!

Got my salary, feels great! At least something happy happened! =)))))

多疑的我

"只是一个星期，却犹如一年；
表面的问候，牵强的话题；
联络，就只因为要联络..."

以上，都是我自己多疑吗？我太空闲了？我希望是~
因为，那全都是我最害怕的...我最担心会发生的事情...

好累~~

晚安！

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你到底烦不烦？一大堆废话！你讲得做的全部都是对的？！

伸冤

FB 不再是我能够任意发泄的地方了。。。只有在这里，我能把心里的话完完全全的发泄出来！

什么想当年，什么原来，什么不应该，什么 A Level，什么什么什么！全部都是你在讲！
有老公在背后撑腰就很了不起？*$^@(*#&%!T@*&$*@$!

每次要人帮的时候就一副可怜样！在别人背后说别人这个不对那个不该！自己做错的你有讲吗？你老公也一样！整天以为自己就是道理！自己不会做错！你们两个是圣人？

当初要不是你跟妈妈讲STPM有这个有那个，A Level 有这样有那样，妈妈会教我读STPM？我跟你讲我没有！从来没有后悔读STPM！唯一遗憾：STPM 是你提议的。。。

是是是，你的学生最厉害！狗眼看人低的本领更是听呱呱！

为什么没有人要相信我？就只会说我这里不对那里不对。。。。好你们对完。。。所有事情都是我一个人的错！

28th Jan 2011

Just back from Pasar Pagi! Not as crowded as I expect... Last week already wor before CNY, how come not much people there? And, things are still very expensive! I thought the price will drop cause people usually wanna clear all stock before CNY mar... this year really weird..

Yeah, happy thing, I saw 3 person who seldom come out. Really surprise to see them there.... They are Mr&Mrs Yip(My English tuition teacher) and Dr.Wee. Mrs Yip is doing well, I guess, but Mr.Yip doesn't look good. When I talked to him, I feel his neck cannot move or what? I'm not sure... Just feel that he's not doing so well due to his nose cancer... Mr.Yip, take care!

Guess what? My mom met with her ooooooollllllldddddd friend! i use 'ooooooollllllldddddd' cause she's really an old friend to my mom! They never see each other for 30++ years! Now she's in New Zealand, coming back for CNY this year with 3 sons. And, her mother(the grandma of the son i'm referring to) come and ask me:

"Do have have friend?"

"Yea, I do"

"Boyfriend?"

"Eeerrrr.... No?" (dearrr, sorry~~ My mom was there... hmmmm....)

"My grandson is a doctor, working in Singapore now. He get high salary!"

"Oh, is it? I just finish my "11th place"(STPM), now waiting for result"

"You're still studying?"

"Ya I'm still studying..."

%&^*$(#)@($&*%^&^($*&^%#$*

Do I look that old? =.=" Okay, I look matured, NOT OLD!

Okay, now this young girl is going to Kuantan. Buhbye~ =}

回家路上的感想

1月25日，Kok Shi(二姐夫) 的公司摆收工酒。和以往一样，被爸爸笔者去参加。=.=! 唯一不同的是，二姐不再跟我们一起出发。自助式的收工酒，整个气氛都好乱！吃到一半，才看到二姐夫来，二姐却不见人影。过了大概十分钟二姐才来。哦，因为二姐吃饱后要回关丹所以自己驾车来。

妈妈因为要回家做饼，说以我们吃饱就会了。回家前，我拍了拍二姐的肩膀，和她道别。

一路上，我很静；想了很多。

现在要我写出我所想的，我办不到。思绪实在是太乱了。我只能说，今天的感触真得很深，让我很不好受。

到家，妈妈说了一句话："我真得很不喜欢他们那家人。有钱人讲话，实在是难顶。"

我想：母亲真的很伟大！为了孩子所喜欢的，自己受委屈业无所谓。妈妈，对不起。我不懂该如何帮你，安慰你。唯一我能做的，就是为你祷告。妈，要记得凡是依靠神！我知道甘马挽教会的问题，让你和神的关系也渐渐的远了...我真得很希望你能来吉隆坡！跟我们一起去教会~

01-01-2011

First of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
As usual, nothing special for me on the new year eve. Movies, PC, etc...
However i knew this year is going to be one of the greatest inflection point of my life~
Waiting for result which determine my future, deciding for courses that i would take which holds the rest of my life, entering into the most unforgettable university life like what others told me...
Well, i suppose 2011 will be wonderful and exciting to me!

New year, new start...
If i hold this word 2 years before, i bet i will not be so miserable now... worrying of my stupid MUET and STPM result... (i know it would be bad....) I WANT TO BE A DOCTOR! THIS IS MY AMBITION!
So the consequence is I might forced to let off my dream... My Biology I'm not going to score an A in paper2 in know..... Really sad to think of it T.T What I hope for now is to at least get a B.

If I can get a huge amount of money now, hahahahaha!!! I wish~ [who don't?]

我有我的计划！
为什么要干涉我？
我并没有说我不要做工，只是我去玩了过后就会在吉隆坡找...

对，我知道你是担心我，但可不可以让我自己决定我想要做的事？
就这样，我所安排，所计划的一切将被破坏...
真的我不是不要做工！
九个月假期难道我不怕闷吗？我当然怕！我一定会找工的嘛！

以前你擅自帮我安排工作，问也没问就叫我去做；
现在你安排我去见工！

当初一考完试我已经搞输过你我的计划，你不作声。
如今你不当一回事！

你要我如何是好？
我真得很乱，真的不知该如何是好.......

思

凌晨4.30，我一个人还没睡...

突然有很多的想法，很多的感触。

我恨自己没有遵守承诺，再出去读书之前我告诉自己不能再懒散！

我要好好读书！4A绝对不是梦！

我没有好好把握机会...

我走回旧路，堕落！

就这样最后的机会落空~

成绩还有三个月才出，但我大概知道自己是如何收场。

MUET？更加不用提...

刚看到一个status:

You can take your time to success, but how much time you parents have?

对，非常对！

爸妈，对不起...这句对不起我说得很愧疚...

原以为SPM的教训后我会改过自新，谁知我好是老样子...

做医生的梦poof灰飞烟灭~

不敢想了...

连大学拿不拿到都是一个问题

拿不到，家里好有钱供我读书吗？

你们都不年轻了

是，我不忍心看你们辛苦供我读书...

真的走头无路，只好出来做工咯，不用再浪费时间...

Broken heart

Every time your words are hard don't you realize it? Our thinking is become totally different! TOTALLY! Since whenever you said we're off different way, we should stop from what we are... We've made things to become worse.

Hope, there's no more hope... I won't hope you for anything! You and I we've back to our own comfort zone and I think we're no longer need each other... Since you have your own things to do and you said you're not free to entertain me, fine I get you... I was too naive~

I'm so stupid so useless!! STOP!! I said i will never cry!!! NEVER!! So stop now!!!!

I'm back yo! XD

Long time never blogging~ Really loooong time... Few days ago went out yumcha with 91G, JiaYing told me she've not read xixi's blog for a long time... Me too!

When i wanted to read, i found JiaYing's blog is locked! how come~~~ T.T unlock it ler i want to read~~

Yingz also changed her blog address... Luckily she sent it to me :) thanks! hee...

Really bored to stay home, doing nothing... Though these few days the whole house is busy with my sister's wedding preparation, still i feel boring... Raining everyday, making me feels so lazy~~~

还重不重要？

想了很久，到自己都不知道自己处于清醒或不清醒...
考虑了很久，都不知道结果会是怎样...
找了很久很久，都找不到答案...

经过昨天和今天，我想我要的答案出来了...
我在你心目中已经不再重要了...
以前说的还能兑现吗？我想我是时候要醒过来了...
这样下去是不会开心的！

问题能不能解决？
试过开口，但似乎不被重视...
难道你看不到问题的严重性？
还是你选择了不去管它？

最终还是被忽略了...
我，不再重要了...

我要解决这问题！请你重视它！
不要以为事情模模糊糊就能一了了知！

一切，都变了...
承诺？哈哈哈哈...开玩笑！

嘴巴说说当然简单！
不要说你，我也做不到...

BURST!!!

Never been here to vent my anger as well as speak out my feeling!

~~aaarrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!~~

Stress out! So many things happened recently which I thought I can deal with it, which I thought I won't give a damn.

Why are you acting in front all of us? You think it's funny to wear on a mask? I bet you're being suffer too! So why are you doing all this? Can't you just, be nice, be true to us? You always tell me this people bad that people not good. How about you? YOURSELF??? Treat others well so that others will treat you good too!

Am I that naive? I believe you... I trust you...

Why do I care you so much?

Why am I getting jealous?

So many why in my mind...How to ask? I tried to ask one of my question, end us the answer upset me... I really get disappointed with the answer.. What a lame excuse!

Just tell me the real answer! DO NOT TRY TO CHEAT ME! I'm not stupid when you're lying to me, you're actually insulting me! F!

1st week end of August

Went back to Kemaman 2 days ago to celebrate grandma's 77th birthday. Ah Po, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ^^

Reached Kemaman late night.. The next day, had my breakfast in my favourite place, Mai Po's Fish Noodle! Yummy~~ As usual, had lunch in grandma's house. All relatives came back and grandma's house full of people! *happy*

Around 3pm, went out to Kuala Kemaman with friends for otak-otak, sata and keropok lekor. Miss them so much! (and the food as well~~) It's so yummy delicious! After that we went to beach. The view there, wow! long time never been to the beach~ I love the view there really!

Follow our family custom, we went to River Bend for dinner.. What a big feast! (eat eat eat and eat!) We've had so fun time together ^^

Although there were something that make me sad, it'll never spoiled my mood! XD

So the next morning, went back to SI2 with wenc and ying to take our SPM cert. After dinner with mom, then we departed... From her eyes, I can see how lonely she is, staying in hometown alone with dad... For years we've been accompanying her, living with her and now, we're all leaving her... It's really sad to see that... I'm very down today... very very down.... kept quiet for whole day...

I know, while i'm having fun in my hometown, someone is feeling lonely, staying alone... I feel sorry... Studying here might be difficult for you, but for me, I think it's much more hard for me.. I'm not much better actually... You're alone here, you can do whatever you want, no one would care what you do.. No burden for you... that's what I actually hope for... Yes i'm staying with my family, but it's not ideal for a student..... just like what happened on me....

8/8/2010, this is my inflextion point. From now on, my life is going up! No longer sliding down! Nothing can influence me anymore! No one can! I'm strong!