3rd day of CNY, back to lonely life. I'm not in a good mood, definitely!
Things I like to do when I'm moody - listen to old songs. I discovered 2 songs which describe us so well...
最好的我 and 轨迹, keep on repeating these 2 songs.

I miss you~ Always do....

过年啦！龙年快乐！
过年，今年过年有好深的感触~
曾经不能一起度过情人节的年初一，
曾经我们的1.23，
这一切，都好怀念~~

你好吗？我好想你！
其实，现在的我们，到底设什么关系？
还需要坚持承诺吗？
我不喜欢这样的等待！
就像没有尽头！

又能怎样？
想要忘记你，但更加不舍得你。
想要在一起，但更害怕伤害。

信息，真的关心吗？是敷衍吗？还是只为了传而传？

我需要肯定...我需要你...

你，还在吗？

Perhaps I'm the only one cares. It only matters to me alone. Perhaps it's no longer important to you. Perhaps there are someone better. Perhaps there's something you dare not tell me. Perhaps I'm the one thinking too much. Perhaps it's true.

but who cares besides me? Avoiding me? Well no need, I'm trying my best not to disturb you. Sorry that I'm still not good in this, but I'm getting better and better.

At least in my dream, you're no longer perfect like before. Though it's just a dream, I take it as a reflection of my thinking. I'm telling myself you don't worth it! NO YOU DON'T DESERVE MY LOVE!

One day, I'm sure I can face you as a normal friend. No worries, you, don't worry.

我抱满希望, 我盼望, 我渴望, 奇迹的出现。

我天真? 可笑? 我笨? 也许...

只因为,我放不下.......你...

对不起, 打扰了。

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我喜欢你，所以你可以一点都不帅。我会拉着你的手，骄傲的在朋友们面前介绍。

因为你的外表，并不重要。

我喜欢你，所以你可以没有钱。我愿意每天和你挤公交，愿意和你一起拼命工作。

因为每个人，都有属于自己的价值。

我喜欢你，所以你可以很一般。即使没有任何的亮点，也一样会被我珍惜。

因为我在乎的是你这个人，与外在无关。

我喜欢你，所以你可以有好多哥们。我不怕因此会被忽略，反而会给足了你面子。

因为男人要重哥们义气，我懂得。

我喜欢你，所以你可以做你想做的一切。我会陪在你的身边，无论欢喜或忧伤。

因为我希望你可以因为我而变得更幸福。

我喜欢你，所以你可以偶尔对我发脾气。我只是静静的等你把气消了，再耐心的安慰你。

因为现实的压力太大了，我又能为你分担多少呢？

我喜欢你，所以你的家人就是我的家人。每个节假日，每个周末，我都会主动打个电话去问候。

因为是他们生你养你，才会让我有机会遇到你。

我喜欢你，所以我不会让你戒烟戒酒戒夜店。烦了闷了，就去做吧！

因为我相信当你有一天不想做了，自然就会停了。

我喜欢你，所以你可以有异性的朋友。也许我和她们也可以成为不错的姐妹，一起开你的玩笑。

因为这个社会无非就是男人和女人，我愿意去相信你。

我喜欢你，所以你纵使有再多的前科，也与我无关。你对我好，真心真意对我好就够了。

因为那都是过去，而我才是你的未来。

我喜欢你，所以你可以通宵打游戏。虽然我什么都不懂，可我还是愿意看着你玩。

因为有始有终总是好的，游戏也不会例外。

我喜欢你，所以你在家可以什么都不管。我会打理好一切，不让你操心。

因为男人要以事业为重，这点小事不需要插手。

我喜欢你，所以你可以赖床，可以不够男人。但对象只能是我。

因为在我眼里，这没什么可不好意思的。

我喜欢你，可以纵容你的一切。但前提是你要值得我喜欢。

我要你懂得生活，尊重生活，热爱生活，并珍惜生活。

我要你的眼里，心里，甚至是生命里只有我的存在。

我要你信任我，爱护我，心疼我，在乎我，把我当成宝贝。

我要你坚强，勇敢，自信，努力，永不放弃。

然后，我喜欢你，会和你在一起，会嫁给你，会陪伴你一生。

然后，我喜欢你，会听你讲从前的故事，会和你走完今后的路程。

然后，我喜欢你，会做你最有力的后盾，会给你一个避风的港湾。

然后，我喜欢你，直到我生命完结的那一天。

Time

Time, a mysterious element. It only travels in one direction, it won't stop for anyone anything, it goes on as usual despite of anything that happened.
Time, it just goes on and left whatever happy or sad behind and keep going till no end, keep going till the pass fade away.

Time, how I wish I can be like time.
I want to behave like time, left everything that had pass behind, keep on going till no end, till I die. How I wish I can be as numb as time.

Only through this way, I can stay a little happier than yesterday.

Life is wonderful.....Isn't it?!

我吃醋！是的，我很妒忌！

T.T 希望是我想太多。。。
对，我是自私的。。。 哪个女孩不自私，不会妒忌？

有个男孩说：“我们什么都不是，我不明白为什么我还需要凡是向她报告，还要委身给她。”
我替他的她，感到心痛。

有个女孩说：“那时，我知道无法挽回我们的感情，但是我又不舍得，只好等他开口。其实，我还放不下。”
她的他，不懂得珍惜她。。。

我呢，我说：“在我们的心里深处，位置虽然不大，但我们总会把一个人藏在里面。每次想起他时，都会感到心痛心酸。。。可是我们依然愿意把他留在心底。心里那位子，永远都是属于他的。。”

Christmas! Isn't christmas... When someone wanted to buy you something but others go and block the someone from buying it which they think you don't need it. Others, you all are so 'thoughtful' and thabk you very much!!!

2011 going to end soon and this is the worst year I've ever had! Worst christmas ever!

*at least I have my one and only christmas present from God--an ipad for christmas in my dream and tat dream made up my day!*

:)

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Hope~~less?

冬至快乐！^^

Went to Wei Min's house for dinner and group study. They tease me again with my bf LOL! >.< This is kinda weird... No idea but who cares? hahah!

Christmas is near! Exam also around the corner! Why am I not in exam mode.... =( I don't wanna fail........ Please lah.... Get back my study mood! Not play mood! Not any other mood else! =(

Aihh... emo again... =.= 

Will I be able to achieve my dream in this way of achieving? Dream, ain't difficult! Plan, easy! The problem is with chasing and achieving... With more than 50k is already in.. There's no way for turning back. 

Can I strive through this? Who knows? I may go out tomorrow, knock down by car and that's it! Someone might just climb in, give me a stab in exchange with a few papers in my purse, that's it! Who knows what's going to happen in the next second? I may just die of heart attack and THAT'S IT!!!

hope, or hopeless??

Prof Yap: If you don't study, it's your funeral. Not only yours, but also your parents'. Study, this is the act of responsibility, not only to yourself, but also to your parents.

Responsibility towards my parent, I cannot give up, no matter how difficult it is. Fees for second semester, paid. 50K already in. There's no turning back but just keep going. What if I fail my 1st MBBS?

Prof Boo: Stop worrying, nail yourself on the chair and study! Will the worrying helps you in passing? What for you waste your time worrying for something that cannot be solved by worrying?

Yea what the hell am I worrying about all these?

It's because of the burden. The loads on my shoulders. I cannot afford to fail anymore! I have not enough time to do my studying...

Helpless..... Is there anyone out there for me to lean on? I'm not as strong as people think. I need a shoulder. =(

I'm afraid! I nearly met with accident... It was so scary!!! T.T
When I close my eyes that scene will appear! If I do, I think I'll be in ICU now....
I need peace.... =( Please calm down!

Balance

When I was there, I don't feel good. I feel like coming back here, alone is better. I'd rather stay here alone without all of you. You all keep on nagging and nagging, non stop! Seems like I'm the one that bring bad luck to the family. Yea I know! I did!

Today when I'm suppose to come back here, alone, I feel lonely. I don't want to! I wanna stay with you guys. Who cares about those nagging?! I miss you guys!

I couldn't find a balance. When Friday comes, I can't wait to go back! Every Saturday, I can't wait to come back here in Sungai Long, and on Sunday, when it's the time for me to come back, I don't feel like leaving. I hate this feeling! I must overcome these! The only way is to resist on Friday! Don't go back, and it cuts of a lot of suffering....

I love my family. I really do!!! I'm no longer youngsters! Please don't turn me down everytime! Please don't ignore me! I do also need some confirmation from you people!!! Support! I hate those who look down on me but I swear I will never wan to hate my family!!!

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Why the younger one always get scolded? Why always we are the one that is doing the wrong thing? Why do you think you are always the one who's doing right? Just because you are older, you cannot accept the culture nowadays then you can always say us? who do you think you are?! SHUT UP!!! You're not always right!! You have ur own ways in doing things, we have our own ways too! Why must we follow urs then only we're consider to be smart?!

YOU REALLY PISSED ME OFF!!!! SHUT UP!!!!!

I'm so sick! So sick so sick to dream about that! >.<
I'm sick...........!

but the dream is so sweet xD

Headache yet cnt sleep... Kill me pls!!!!!!

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13/12/2011

Rainy day, ruin my plan! Planned to go pasar malam to get some vege for this week dinner but it rain! Oh no no more cheap vege this week... I'm broke this month, seriously! >.< It's just half a month and I left not much. New sem oh new sem, really need to spend a lot! Sick of maggie mee ler.... Don't wanna eat maggie again tmr... =(

What a bad day... Having headache summore... T.T someone please help me............ Exam is near again... Christmas mood? New year mood? Not at all....

第一次, 第一次这么想马上回到双龙, 就算明天是假期, 我也不介意了... 因为好想回到一个人的地方, 痛快的大哭一场!

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"i miss you"

"nvm, v can msn everyday!"

"i miss your voice"

"we will chat phone everynight!"

"can v skype?"

"sure!"

.....................................................................

"i miss you"

......................

"can i call you?"

..........................

=)

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Stop pitying yourself stop crying stop thinking about all these! Didn't you alr make your decision to let go???? If you do then just go ahead! Stop emo-ing alone here while he's so happy out there! No one will pity you! It's time to learn how to love yourself and be selfish CHONG SIN YUE!