Christmas! Isn't christmas... When someone wanted to buy you something but others go and block the someone from buying it which they think you don't need it. Others, you all are so 'thoughtful' and thabk you very much!!!

2011 going to end soon and this is the worst year I've ever had! Worst christmas ever!

*at least I have my one and only christmas present from God--an ipad for christmas in my dream and tat dream made up my day!*

:)

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Hope~~less?

冬至快乐！^^

Went to Wei Min's house for dinner and group study. They tease me again with my bf LOL! >.< This is kinda weird... No idea but who cares? hahah!

Christmas is near! Exam also around the corner! Why am I not in exam mode.... =( I don't wanna fail........ Please lah.... Get back my study mood! Not play mood! Not any other mood else! =(

Aihh... emo again... =.= 

Will I be able to achieve my dream in this way of achieving? Dream, ain't difficult! Plan, easy! The problem is with chasing and achieving... With more than 50k is already in.. There's no way for turning back. 

Can I strive through this? Who knows? I may go out tomorrow, knock down by car and that's it! Someone might just climb in, give me a stab in exchange with a few papers in my purse, that's it! Who knows what's going to happen in the next second? I may just die of heart attack and THAT'S IT!!!

hope, or hopeless??

Prof Yap: If you don't study, it's your funeral. Not only yours, but also your parents'. Study, this is the act of responsibility, not only to yourself, but also to your parents.

Responsibility towards my parent, I cannot give up, no matter how difficult it is. Fees for second semester, paid. 50K already in. There's no turning back but just keep going. What if I fail my 1st MBBS?

Prof Boo: Stop worrying, nail yourself on the chair and study! Will the worrying helps you in passing? What for you waste your time worrying for something that cannot be solved by worrying?

Yea what the hell am I worrying about all these?

It's because of the burden. The loads on my shoulders. I cannot afford to fail anymore! I have not enough time to do my studying...

Helpless..... Is there anyone out there for me to lean on? I'm not as strong as people think. I need a shoulder. =(

I'm afraid! I nearly met with accident... It was so scary!!! T.T
When I close my eyes that scene will appear! If I do, I think I'll be in ICU now....
I need peace.... =( Please calm down!

Balance

When I was there, I don't feel good. I feel like coming back here, alone is better. I'd rather stay here alone without all of you. You all keep on nagging and nagging, non stop! Seems like I'm the one that bring bad luck to the family. Yea I know! I did!

Today when I'm suppose to come back here, alone, I feel lonely. I don't want to! I wanna stay with you guys. Who cares about those nagging?! I miss you guys!

I couldn't find a balance. When Friday comes, I can't wait to go back! Every Saturday, I can't wait to come back here in Sungai Long, and on Sunday, when it's the time for me to come back, I don't feel like leaving. I hate this feeling! I must overcome these! The only way is to resist on Friday! Don't go back, and it cuts of a lot of suffering....

I love my family. I really do!!! I'm no longer youngsters! Please don't turn me down everytime! Please don't ignore me! I do also need some confirmation from you people!!! Support! I hate those who look down on me but I swear I will never wan to hate my family!!!

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Why the younger one always get scolded? Why always we are the one that is doing the wrong thing? Why do you think you are always the one who's doing right? Just because you are older, you cannot accept the culture nowadays then you can always say us? who do you think you are?! SHUT UP!!! You're not always right!! You have ur own ways in doing things, we have our own ways too! Why must we follow urs then only we're consider to be smart?!

YOU REALLY PISSED ME OFF!!!! SHUT UP!!!!!

I'm so sick! So sick so sick to dream about that! >.<
I'm sick...........!

but the dream is so sweet xD

Headache yet cnt sleep... Kill me pls!!!!!!

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13/12/2011

Rainy day, ruin my plan! Planned to go pasar malam to get some vege for this week dinner but it rain! Oh no no more cheap vege this week... I'm broke this month, seriously! >.< It's just half a month and I left not much. New sem oh new sem, really need to spend a lot! Sick of maggie mee ler.... Don't wanna eat maggie again tmr... =(

What a bad day... Having headache summore... T.T someone please help me............ Exam is near again... Christmas mood? New year mood? Not at all....

第一次, 第一次这么想马上回到双龙, 就算明天是假期, 我也不介意了... 因为好想回到一个人的地方, 痛快的大哭一场!

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"i miss you"

"nvm, v can msn everyday!"

"i miss your voice"

"we will chat phone everynight!"

"can v skype?"

"sure!"

.....................................................................

"i miss you"

......................

"can i call you?"

..........................

=)

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Stop pitying yourself stop crying stop thinking about all these! Didn't you alr make your decision to let go???? If you do then just go ahead! Stop emo-ing alone here while he's so happy out there! No one will pity you! It's time to learn how to love yourself and be selfish CHONG SIN YUE!

我是一个不需要被爱的人, 因为我爱不起。

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Optimist :)

No matter how stong I can be, I'll turn mad one day. All these days, all these things... Why I must be the one bumping my head into all these bad things? I'm an optimist! I was an optimist! Bad things you're taking away all my happiness, leaving only all the heartache to me...turning me into so passive.

I would rather die....one day later when I'm totally break...

"an optimist give their best to stay strong for each and every seconds"

I'm giving my best to do that... It's either the best, or the worst...

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不用睬我！
不用理我！
真的不用！
永远都不用！！！

"你们要忘记背后, 努力面前, 向着标杆直跑。"

其实, 还未能忘记... 有人说, 忘记就是要先原谅。

我真的原谅你了吗?

原谅了吧~~

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煎熬 - 李佳薇

早知道 你只是飞鸟
拥抱后 手中只剩下 羽毛
当初你又何必浪费
那么多咖啡和玫瑰 来打扰

我想要 安静地思考
天平上 让爱恨不再 动摇
一想你就平衡不了
我关灯还是关不掉 这风暴

心一跳 爱就开始煎熬
每一分 每一秒
火在烧 烧成灰有多好
叫思念 不要吵
我相信我已经快要
快要把你忘掉
跟寂寞 再和好

得不到 也不要乞讨
怎么做 不需要别人 转告
在陷得太深的海底
我也只剩下我自己 能依靠

心一跳 爱就开始煎熬
每一分 每一秒
火在烧 烧成灰有多好
叫思念 不要吵
我相信我已经快要
快要把你忘掉
跟寂寞 再和好
我相信我已经快要
是真的我快要
快要可以微笑 去面对
下一个 拥抱

What's all that? PRIVACY! Stop sneaking at ppl's fb ok!

Explosion

I need a place to really express myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to EXPLODE! BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

='(

bad

Emo emo emo emo!!!! One week holidays shouldn't be like this! >.< I hate!!!!!!!!

What am I emoing now T.T

I really should have just stay in sg long... I belongs to sg long lolx! Very funny =.=

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<Sweet Village>

It's like a cursing.. Should I continue? Since April, I stopped and started to write again yesterday, and bad things happen...

No I cannot blame this diary lar... LOL childish! Nvm nothing will happen! Continue with the daily stories~~ I believe the taste will be sweeter and sweeter~~~ ^^

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敷衍

Fed up already really........ This is really hurting......

For you not important, but it mean a lot to me!

Maybe you think I'm childish... but I still feel it's important to me....

T_T

Commitment is a MUST in a relationship. Being in a relationship is not easy... Not only yourself but you and your the other half.

It's all about spiritually and mentally... Not physically...

If I say I won't bother anymore or you don't want me to go through together, to me it's killing a relationship...

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Ya if you REALLY understand....
Shame on you for having me right?!

So complicated.....

Please show some care.......

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Only IDIOT will hurt themselves VIVIAN CHONG SIN YUE!

ARE YOU AN IDIOT?!

STOP IT PLEASEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

='(

I'm disappointed, and a bit angry with you! =\

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I want to share my joy with you... I mean it... Can I at least feel your presence with me?

I seems not important to you....

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Pass pass I pass!!!!!!! Wooohoooooooo!

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Vacation?

Feel like going to genting so much! Anyone wanna go with me? Jom! XDD
This one week holiday is nt as exciting as i expect... T.T
Everyday staying at home... Today fall sick summore... :'(
I dont want......

Missing you~~~

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幸福不是必然的, 珍惜眼前人, 不要等到失去了才后悔。

by ShiYun

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R.E.S.T.

After 7 weeks of suiting myself in a new environment with new life, I'm now having a chance to rest! *happy*

Reached home around 1.30am just now, with TongSeng and Queenie. Gonna have lots of fun time with them!

During this holidays, I must enjoy to the max! (though I brought my books back to study lolx~)

*just to add something*
I'm struggling within myself now... T___T I don't hope for history please.........

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I hope it's me myself over sensitive....

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很烦啊!!!! ='(
努力的在改变! 改变自己!

也许最近的我很奇怪，
也许最近的我情绪不稳定，
我不想伪装，却不想让你知道。。。
所以我伪装得很累。。。

累了。。。。。。。。。。

100%

Keep your faith Vivian, trust and believe!

Do not hesitate to trust!
What the hack am I thinking?
Screw myself!!!
I'm bad! T___T

Am I the special one?

yaaa...... =)

等待期待

期待，

唯有耐心等待，

唯有把它深藏在内心深处，

等待期待能完成期待的人发现，

它才显得有意义...

等待期待~~

Complicate...

Feelings, so complicated... I ask for it so serve me rite...

Tell myself seriously NOT TO LOOK BACK ANYMORE!

but the feeling is still with me.... jealous....I want to get rid of it! *hate*

still, not compatible...still, what she had is what i wish to...
yet not for me... why? no idea...

after all i'm a girl...seems complicated but not at all...

我们的纪念日

范玮琪 - 我们的纪念日

我的心忽然又活了

总在见到你的那一刻

原来我也有过这样的悸动

只是在习惯自我保护后

忘了...

想聊的故事太长了

反而就都沉默的笑着

金色阳光洒在你双手上头

看起来好暖让我想紧紧握着

这是我们的纪念日

纪念我们开始对自己诚实

愿意为深爱的人

放弃骄傲　

说少了你生活淡的没有味道

这是美丽的纪念日

纪念我们能重新认识一次

有些事要流过泪才看的到

不求完美爱的更远

要过的更好

我用寂寞来惩罚我

看着你走过

要什么当时不说

此刻能有你倾听我

轻轻的转着　

那是种甘甜以后

让人想哭的快乐

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

友。爱

知道还爱着，虽然
一道屹立不倒的墙，
一段被尝试挽回，过去
对未来从满盼望的心，
彼此的努力，维持，
心硬，还是墙？

~友搭之上，恋人未满~

I hope I can get through it... No matter in which aspects....

I want back the original me! Cheerful, but not a book worm!

Thank you my fren, for ur love and care~~ Best frenz forever! Good luck in ur future, and don't give up! Keep running towards ur goal! C you there! ^^

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N.E.W. on 4th June

A new creation, Thanks God for this new life!

Being a "so call" Christian for years, I've finally made a decision to commit my whole life onto God's hand.

Dear O Lord, please grant me strength to overcome each and every problems, temptation of sins, and my worldly desire. May the Holy Spirit guide me and teach me.

I LOVE YOU GOD!

Here's a link where you can view some photos. Welcome!
http://www.setapakcdc.com/2011/06/special-event-baptism-for-vivian.html

Bigday!

Today is my bigday!!! Thanks God for this day...

Die to old self old life, and live the life in God's way!

Help me to overcome sins and temptation :)
To honour and to glorify You!

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30.05.2011

Tomorrow, 30th May 2011,
A new beginning,
Can I cope with it?
Can I handle it?
While I'm achieving my dream, will I give up in the future?
I always wouldn't believe what people tell me until I taste it myself.
And now I know this road isn't an easy one.
Once I've started it, I cannot stop to take a break.
No more excuses like what I've did for my SPM and STPM.
(Every time I say I'm regret of what I've done and I want to change, but I never success because I'm not consistent enough)
So will I be doing the same this time?
I don't know.
For now, I'll work hard and not to be lazy.
I must not let myself to feel sorry and regret!
No way out but keep running, towards the goal I've setted long ago.

I know I cannot do it with my own strength, but I need to consistently rely and commit to God as well.

I must be strong both mentally and spiritually.

ALWAYS TRUST IN GOD!

Dear Oh God,

Please give me strength to overcome these. I'm feeling so stress...
Please let me to have the knowledge on how to settle these... Please be with me...

Amen

你心机真的很重! 如果你不喜欢, 你可以不用假装你喜欢!
千辛万苦搭巴士, 都没有忘记把你那重到要命, 又不重要的死人化妆品带来吉隆坡给你, 还特地驾车拿去你家给你, 谢谢都没有一句!
转身就在facebook谢谢你的姨姨!
你的心肠真的狠毒! 你知道这样会伤害到人, 你就偏要这样做! 你这个恶女人毒女人! 简直就是毒蝎的化身!

要不是你老爸发骚, 不甘寂寞, 我姐就不会上你爸的钓! 他妈的!!!! 我真的很生气! 假惺惺!

你以为照顾你的弟弟们, 很简单? 要不是她, 你会有今天? 你弟弟带今天还会继续读书? 回家睡觉发梦啦你!

再伤害我姐, 我不会原谅你! 死八婆!!!!!!!!

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Today i'm a failure...... I'm really useless! I hate myself!!!!!!!!

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First and foremost, CONGRATULATIONS DEAR!!! ^^ I'm really really happy for you!

See you are harvesting your ur fruits now! Keep it up! Can't wait to see the day you success! Keep up the good work ya~ Gambatte Gambatte! Gogogo u can do it! ^^

I rmb how you supported me last time...Now it's the time for me to support you! Hee...

You have my support and wishes~~ jiayou jiayou my dear! ^^

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That "like" is hurting.......... =(

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~^^~

1st day move into sg long. Complicated feeling... My feelings are just like mix and match lolx! Feeling lonely too...

Received msg! ^^ so happy and I really appreciate it! Thank you so much! :)

A call, it really touches me~~ Never expect we could hv such a long chat ^^ it reminds me a lot of things.. and i'm really happy! hooray!

my 1st day staying alone isn"t tat bad too... at least i have u to acc me~~

A big hug for you! ****hug**** ^^

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Wishes~

Thank you for your wish! I do really really really appreciate it! ^^ Gambatte and keep up your good work! Rmb we chase after our dream together! =)

And to another fren, all the best to you in your future! Rmb my besties, I'm always here supporting you! Count on me! :-P

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Went to Subang Parade for lunch after fetching sis back from work. Our plan is to go to Sungai Long after lunch.

"What to eat?"
"Manhattan?"
"OK!"

Conversation between the twins.

Manhattan, yea I remember Manhattan...
I miss it so much too... but it was already different...

Another limitation? Perhaps...

When to be limitless?

Still limiting myself,
keep limiting myself,
not to do it...

it's 5.20, nothing special actually jz bcz of the date... But everyone hope to tell or listen the word from the one they love. So do you? So am I...

I dare nt.... jz like the lyrics
"下雨天了, 怎么办我好想你, 不敢打给你"

nothing I love you! I love you so much!

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I really feel like shouting "NG TECK HUAI, I ♥ you!!!"

and I can only shout it out here~~ T____T

Where's the CHONG SIN YUE I know?!

-dead-

好想，好想~

好想，好想，好想与小叮当交朋友
好想，好想，好想拥有一台时光机
好想，好想，好想让时间倒流
好想，好想，好想再为你煮粥
好想，好想，好想再吃你煮的面
好想，好想，好想和你一起逛街
好想，好想，好想与你一起看电影
好想，好想，好想对你诉苦
好想，好想，好想听你诉苦
好想，好想，好想与你分享一切
好想，好想，好想与你分担一切
好想，好想，好想回到我们快乐的时光
好想，好想，好想让时间停留着
好想，好想，好想回到你的怀抱里~

你和我, 我疑惑。
关系, 陌生。
感觉, 却很亲切~

你对我, 到底是什么?
为什么我感觉不出是朋友?

我对你, 真的只是朋友?
对! 也只能是朋友~

我讨厌这样的我们。。。
我不喜欢这样的关系。。。
贪心的, 想要更多, 却什么也不是。。。

不逼你, 也不敢去烦你,
希望偶尔的问候, 不会让你感到反感~~
只因, 我爱你~~~

学习去, 默默的爱,
学习着, 偷偷去爱~~

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心太软

你总是心太软心太软
独自一个人流泪到天亮
你无怨无悔的爱着那个人
我知道你根本没那么坚强
你总是心太软心太软
把所有问题都自己扛
相爱总是简单相处太难
不是你的就别再勉强
夜深了你还不想睡
你还在想着他吗
你这样痴情到底累不累
明知他不会回来安慰
只不过想好好爱一个人
可惜他无法给你满分
多余的牺牲他不懂心疼
你应该不会只想做个好人
喔,算了吧
就这样忘了吧该放就放
再想也没有用
傻傻等待他也不会回来
你总该为自己想想未来

好熟悉的一首歌，
好贴切的形容，
好深的感触。。。
独自一个人流泪到天亮。。。。

♥

When you decided to give your heart to someone, it's not giving him the right to love you, but giving him the right to hurt you. So be sure you give it to a right person. :)

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Preparation

The 5th day in Kemaman
Packing and preparation? Not much actually.
Gathering with friends? Yea!

Saturday, went out limteh with 91G. Tarcians are in Kemaman too! ZK, ZW, JM... Even WS came back from HongKong! Wow! It was really a meaningful gathering. We started to recall back our memory from primary school to high school. Those days were the time we stick together almost everyday! That was really fun.
Crush... Primary crush we've talked about.
FL liked QQ (according to boys, he liked her due to a reason that they refused to let us girls know >.JW liked WC, HS liked BC but BC liked KW, ZW liked CY, WX and BH were enemy. And more and more!
ZK liked WS. And guess what ZK did? He asked WS "what did you feel last time when i chased you" lolx! We were all shocked! hahah! He's always the most daring person.
And finally, they remembered my crush with JM lolx! Once upon a time~~ hahahah!
We were so naive and innocent, and that was our most happy time together. Hope that 91G will stick together always! I ♥ you all 91G! ^^

Monday afternoon, after fetching mom back form work, dad brought me to get an electric kettle from his friend's shop. Written RM78, and his friend only charge him RM48! OMG so I can imagine how rich he could be!

Tuesday night, limteh again at Sonstar-my first visit there. The environment there are pretty good, but the price are slightly higher than other kopitiam. Purpose of limteh that night was to have a look at WL's lappy(Thinking to get a similar lappy)but it seems to be too big and too heavy for me. So now I'm thinking to get Asus N-series wf 14" screen, and processor sandy i5 since i5 is already more than enough for what I need. Other wise, get a lower grade series (A-series) with i7 processor. Well, it depends on the price xD And I bought a new external harddisc! WL help me to buy it since he can get staff price hehee... (I did treat him a drink for this, and he chosen the most expensive drink >.
Wednesday afternoon, went for a hair cut. I wanted to cut off a few inches, but end up my hair is soooooooo short now! *sad* and *regret* T___T I wonder how long I need to wait it to grow back to it's original lenght... Drop by at popo's house to fetch my 2 little cousins (everyday they'll come to my house for tuition and homework) and met Ah Pak (my 大舅).He gave me an angpau, they call that "开学红包". My grandpa, my Ah Pak, my Ah Bo (大姨) and my sis' husband all gave me angpau. So paiseh~~ (happy too lar got money to settle my books and lappy =P)

So, tomorrow is already Thursday, so fast I'm going to leave my lovely Kemaman. I know this time I leave, I'll have lesser and lesser chance to come back for a long time. The most 3 days 2 night unless having holidays. And I know I'll be very busy with my studies after this. So moody to leave this place... T___T

By the way, I'm quite excited too! xD

Dare not, to disturb... Though I feel like chatting wf u..
Though I like to talk wf u...
Though I miss you...

I miss you so much...
I'll learn, to cover it up..
Keep it deep inside my heart...

Yea I need to learn...
Keep on learning~~

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Laptop~~

Yeah my laptop is no longer a long term plan! I get get it either this week or next week yeahhh! Hoorayyy!!!

Thank you GongGong,
Thank you Kok Shi (sis' husband)
Thank you Ah Bo (my aunt)
For sponsoring me the laptop!

Hooooorayyyyyy!!!!

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Good! Such an effective friend, to tease me on this issue!
You are really a good friend who care for me so much!
Don't you feel it's so annoying that every time needs you need to check on what happen to me, just to make yourself feel better?!
It has been 16 years! 16 YEARS! Don't you feel tired? I'm tired of it really.... Few years back, I've told you about this... I DON'T WANNA FIGHT WITH YOU!

So can't you just STOP what you are doing now? Teasing me or fight with me, became your hobby?

DAM*

第二波的袭击
一个月多，两个打击，原有的都瞬间被夺去。。。
好伤心好伤心。。。
这，是什么考验？
我，能熬过这考验吗？
我，有这么坚强吗？
我竟然开始怀疑我自己。。。

张心悦，你是没有本事的啦！不要发梦了！快起身！快从梦里醒过来，面对现实！好好计划未来，从新来过！

我不知道，几时，我才能不靠拐杖，自己真正的站起来~~~

Is that phrase referring to me?
Afraid yourself wants more, is it from me?

How I wish it is referring to me...
And I would answer you,
" Don't worry dear, I'm always here for you, forever ready for anything that you need. I'm not that powerful to help, but at least I have my ears for you. Do not afraid, as I'm willing to"

How I wish, this answer suit your question....


♥

矛盾~
我们什么都不是
自私的我却想把你占为己有
明白你的心情
更希望你也同样的明白我
却不想成为你的负担

也许，你们只是普通的吵嘴，
却想曾虚而入
真黑心！
难道，我不在乎成为第三者？
不！绝对不行！

一定，一定要坚持
自己的信念
对你有信心
我会继续的等

每一天，都有新希望
只求你，要对我坦白~

天！我自己到底在写什么？
到底在想什么？
到底还要什么？
笨蛋张心悦！

♥

BMS0008C
CHONG SIN YUE
910121-06-XXXX

OFFER OF ADMISSION-MAY 2011 INTAKE

We are pleased to offer you admission to pursue the following course at University Tunku Abdul Rahman (UTAR):

BACHELOR OF MEDICINE AND BACHELOR OF SURGERY
BANDAR SUNGAI LONG CAMPUS

The units to study in your 1st trimester are pre-registered as indicated in the Student Bill attached. You may register for new unit(s) or drop from registered unit(s) during the first 2 weeks of each trimester at your faculty.

Commencement Date of Course: 30 May 2011

You are exempted from the following unit(s):

MPW2113 BAHASA KEBANGSAAN (A)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just back from Sungai Long, found my room. ^^ Master room, but staying alone, RM300! It's a niceeeee room really!!

After I moved in, I'll take photo and post it in blog! ^^

原点

像是走了一个大圈，
我们，回到了原点。
虽然是原点，
这一圈，却让我们长大了不少。
所经历的，已经不再重要了。
重要的是，我们所得到的。

更懂得珍惜，
更懂得疼爱，
更懂得去爱，
更懂得，什么才是重要的。

过去，我们无法挽回，
未来，我们掌控不来，
唯有现在，我们好好把握。

今天，我们手牵着手，站在这原点，
一起为眼前的而努力，
为未来而奋斗！
加油哦！

♥

Dedicated to you~~

When the rain is blowing in your face,
and the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
and there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
to make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
but I would never do you wrong.
I've known it from the moment that we met,
no doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
to make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
and on the highway of regret.
The winds of change are blowing wild and free,
you ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
to make you feel my love
to make you feel my love


[i ♥ you]

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现在这样,真的是最好的?我犹豫。我,会贪心,想要得到更多,向那会属于我的。不,不在是我的了。。。要放下,真的不简单,所以我应该要学习知足。。对你的感觉,当然没那么快消失。。。如果可以,宁愿它永远持续。。你不需要,我自己就好。那份感情,对我很重要。。不能就这样消失。。至少,至少它让我感到那份喜悦。谢谢你愿意让我继续在你身边,借你我的耳朵。这就是我还能为你做的那么一点点。。交谈中的尴尬,难免。。你要知道,我,真的很好! 我,不难过!

如果可以, 我真像,真想回到过去。。。看见你被伤害, 却什么我都做不到。。。心,痛! 心,酸。。。你,要坚强! 我们, 都要坚强....

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♥

复杂

心情好不稳定。原来,放下真的很难。。。尤其是,这种时候。。。

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♥

也许是我太天真了...再也不可能好像以前这样...变了，就是变了...... 可惜?! 没什么好可惜的，因为我什么也做不到，什么也帮不上忙。

最伤的，就是当我想起你对她的，比对我的来得多...对，我在妒忌。

Dreamed, Planned, Achieving!

Yea achieving, I'm achieving my dream! I was so happy and so excited yesterday once my application status is out. My mood was at the peak! Thanks God for all these.

Matthew 6:33 - But seek ye first his kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Right after my interview that day, I knew I'm doomed. Thinking to let go even to Manipal since in India I'll be totally cut off from the support or church. Our only one true God is really GREAT and MIGHTY. Nothing is impossible in Him. When we honour Him, he'll honour us. So always put God in the first place. What I've gain today is not because of who I am, but because of God. Thanks God and PRAISE the LORD! I'm still on my way learning to please and honour you God. Guide me and please show me your way.

April 2011, a month that I'll never forget, packed with a lot of stuff that made me grow.

Teck Huai:" All these happened must be a reason. What we need to do is to continue looking forward"

Yeah I'm totally agree with you! All the best to you and keep up the good work =)) Don't let things that's not worth to distract you from your studies and your goal. Let's JIAYOU together!

Limitation

I have to limit myself on something. I must! I don't wanna let things around hurt myself anymore...

1. Pavilion GSC

• Our 1st date, our 1st movie. Our 2nd valentine which we celebrated it together for the 1st time. Tickets are still with me, and I'll keep it well, in a place where I'll not see it easily. You said:"Every important event for us, we must come back to Pavilion GSC. Every valentine."

So I tell myself, I'll not go Pavilion for movies again.

2. Wangsa Walk Popoyes

• Here is the place we discussed about our future. And when we talked about religion-the main obstacle for us, we both cried. We cried because we are afraid to lose each other. We cried because we don't wanna lose each other. "No matter what, I'm sure we can overcome it together! because I love you..." you said.

3. Loh Pan Mee

• Your favorite food. And because of you, I get to know this dish. It's really yummy licious! Everytime we went to TBR for lunch, this is your 1st choice, with a lot of vinegar! A lot! But I love the taste. And I started to love this dish-Loh Pan Mee.

For now, no more Loh Pan Mee for me! =)

4. Snowflakes

• Again, this is the food you introduce to me. And it is really tasty and sweet! I love it! It was during 14/2.

Thanks for all the happy moment you've gave me. And because of your unfaithful, I grow up a lot.

每一个不敢再爱的女人，一定很深的爱过，看起来好象百毒不侵，其实早已百毒侵身。

Quoted from someone and A.G.R.E.E. with her! ^^

It's time to give my blog a new face! muahahahahaha!!

I wanna make it alive!

I miss you so much~~~ Want to find you, but I don't think it's an good idea... When can we have a chat? Just normal friend chat will do... I miss doing things with you... Anything things... Even when we're just sitting in the same DK, concentrating to our lecturer...

At least, we have something in common......

回到家，有好多感触哦~
开心，伤心，可笑，可惜，可乐，遗憾，难忘。。。统统都从我脑海里涌了出来。

人家说，死前往事会一幕幕的浮现。原来在一段感情结束之前，也会有同样的事情发生。

最近的心情好复杂。我还以为自己快疯了！哈哈！

我，向来就是个开朗的人。无论遇到什么，我都会先笑！（不是敷衍啦 =.=）笑一笑，没什么过不了嘛~

撑下去吧！时间很快的就会把记忆冲淡的！加油哦！

如果我这样做，会让你感到好过一点，我愿意。。。
希望，这不是我一厢情愿；
希望，你至少还有那么一点点的在乎；
希望，能在你心里多逗留一下；
希望，你脑海里还有那么一点点我们的回忆。。。

啊啊啊~~~傻婆！哈哈！想太多，犯贱 >.<"

好啦好啦，我不想。。。很努力的，我不去想，不去看。。。

我很清楚，现在最重要的是什么！
与神的关系！

你们要先求他的国和他的义，这一切都比家给你们。
（马太福音 6:33）

你对她做的，你从来没对我做过。。。
我真失败。。。。

计划，在筹备当中。。。。。

丁当~很爱过

谢谢你从来没有觉得我不够好
谢谢你守护我的每一分每一秒
谢谢当天塌下了 你也会帮我顶着
你的固执 谁才会懂
终于让时间回过头来笑我们傻
等暴雨都要淋过才能逼得人成长
没有地久没有天长 没有最美的花 只有遗忘能让眼泪流光
很爱过 很痛过 我们为了彼此而活过
你爱我 拥抱着我 却让我看不见星空
我们都 没有错 没有谁比较寂寞
我的世界早已经不是一切
也许以后再也没人比你更爱我
也许以后我也不可能再那样活
每当想起你的时候 快乐都比较多
也许快乐 是时间的幽默
很爱过 很痛过 我们为了彼此而活过
你爱我 拥抱着我 却让我看不见星空
我们都 没有错 没有谁比较寂寞
我的世界早已经不是一切
多少天 多少夜 爱一个人很难 爱自己更难
清晨醒来所有美梦都不见
很爱过 很痛过 我们为了彼此而活过
你爱我 拥抱着我 却让我看不见星空
我们都 没有错 没有谁比较寂寞
我的世界早已经不是一切

曾经，是多么的美好~~~

记得~林俊杰

谁还记得
是谁先说永远的爱我
以前的一句话
是我们以后的伤口
过了太久
没人记得当初那些温柔
我和你手牵手
说要一起走到最后
我们都忘了
这条路走了多久
心中是清楚的
有一天有一天都会停的
让时间说真话
虽然我也害怕
在天黑了以后
我们都不知道会不会有以后
谁还记得
是谁先说永远的爱我
以前的一句话
是我们以后的伤口
过了太久
没人记得当初那些温柔
我和你手牵手
说要一起走到最后
我们都累了
却没办法往回走
两颗心都迷惑
怎么说怎么说都没有救
亲爱的为什么
也许你也不懂
两个相爱的人
等着对方先说找分开的理由
谁还记得爱情开始变化的时候
我和你的眼中
看见了不同的天空
走的太远
终于走到分岔路的路口
是不是你和我
要有两个相反的梦
谁还记得
是谁先说永远的爱我
以前的一句话
是我们以后的伤口
过了太久
没人记得当初那些温柔
我和你手牵手
说要一起走到最后
我和你手牵手
说要一起走到以后

我，撑得有点累了。。。

莫名其妙

Someone asked me to be her gf >.<" I never knew that you have this feeling on me... You know, we are friends, for so many years... I cherish our friendship really..

Furthermore, friendship last longer than couple... Don't wish to lose you as my friend...

I'm sorry...

Recovering~

I'm, feeling better today. Yea better! I'm happy and proud of myself! I removed the girl from my friend list. Not as painful as before when I read all those. I guess, I'm recovering! My body defense system not bad mar... ^^ Uncountable white blood cell! muahahahaha! This is, consider cell mediated mechanism huh? lolx! Biology! It has been a long time ago I touch it...

Have a wonderful chat yesterday night. Yea there's hope when we dream! ^^ DREAM Chong Sin Yue! DREAM! haha!

It's the END

So this is the end of our story? Forcing myself to accept this....Promise me don't delete this blog, just like what you did to our photo in FB... This will be the last thing I hope you do for me...

Why don't you cherish what we have?

And do you know what you've done now it's actually hurting me? It stabs deeply into my heart~~ HURTS!

It hurts~~~~~

You might forget me I know... But bear in mind, I'll always remember how special you are to me....

The 4th day, I hope I'll be better. Ya I'm better now. I know I'm stroung enough to handle this!

Yesterday Pr Joy's preaching: "Why a relationship cannot last long?" I was surprised that the answer was "because human and proud"

Today in office, I think of this statement, very carefully and clearly. Yeah men's pride cause a relationship to be so temporal. When someone chase after pride and glory of himself, he'll try his very best to achieve what he want. As I know, he's aiming for dean list to get the scholarship, and I just knew that the girl is in the dean list too. They'll do better to squeeze themselves into the dean list by this I suppose? I don't know. I was so upset that the girl even add me in FB. Well I'm not that type of tiny hearted, so I accepted her. Why not a friend than an enemy right?

What I'm very clear for now is, I'll set up my own goal, my own vision, run after my goal and glorify God. For everything I have, is because of God. I'll honour Him.

My goal:
1. Quiet down my heart, be serious in God and commit my life to him.(Baptise)
2. Try my best to get a place in Melaka Manipal Medical College
3. Give my very best, aiming for JPA scholarship after first sem.
4. Live a life that I can bring people towards God.

Sin Yue, JiaYou!

How? Everywhere in KL have our memory, every places i go i'll recall a lot a lot.... I dnt like KL! I dnt like Setapak.. I dnt like JJ, i dnt like Tarc. I dnt like pv12, i dnt like every places v've went together.... :'(

Worst

About one month, a few posts in FB, in the same class for one month, borrowing laptop for few times, so now all these replaced our more than one year relationship? Things we gone through together? Things we did together? All these not even comparable to your one month in Sarawak?

I'm really hurt this time... My heart is so painful.... I never feel this pain before.....This I can say, is the worst thing I met...

Trusted someone so much and yet, it jz ends like this... Why do we insist last time? Why? I'm feeling like an idiot now.... Can men be trusted? He was so honest and sincere when he told me all those... I choose to trust him... and now c what happened?

"The girl chase me"

ya so? She chase you and you must accept her? I dnt know... I dnt wan to hate you really... and i dnt wan to lose u as well.... at least, we can be friend... keep in touch...

I must! I must recover ASAP! CHONG SIN YUE! Be tough! Even if ur heart is pain, you can stand for that! Be tough!

Samsung Galaxy Ace

My "big sis" suggested to visit Mid Valley last Saturday because she wanted to get a new wok, and her husband intended to buy a new luggage. Well, we all went there together. Before that I did planned to get a new phone and trade in my SE phone. Guess what? I left my SE home >.<"

I was so moody that I couldn't get my phone on that day. Eventually, my sis told me I can actually don't trade in the phone because it's not at high price. Why not we fixed the phone and use it as a backup phone? Well, not a bad idea! (because I have an excuse to buy a new phone on that day itself!)

After having our dinner in The Gardens' food court, (the food there was no so bad even they're only a food court!) my twin sis and I went to Samsung shop! As I alr know which phone I want, we spent not much time in the shop. Around half an hour there. RM999 for the phone, and I upgrade it to RM1099 which come with 8gb memory card and a screen protector. I ♥ my phone! ^^

The phone is greatz! One thing I don't like is that the phone will sometimes lag when I'm playing games.. I tot 800mb RAM is fast enough? lolx! Who knows?

Up to now I'm still quite satisfy with this phone. hooray! Finally i got my first smart phone! yeah!

Don't be too sensitive. It's not like what I think! You have to believe and trust with no doubt CHONG SIN YUE!!

No I cannot play FB anymore... It'll only develop my suspicious character =(

Why after people gather, they must be separated? 91G, 10S2a, all same case.... aih..... Why relationship between men cannot last long...

Can any relationship between men last long just like relationship between men and God? Yea can, in the blessing of God...

23.03.2011

I hate bad dream! It will spoil my whole day mood! Some more, the dream is so real.... I'm afraid that my dream will come true.... If it's a dream of my dream, I don't mind but it is not! So please....please don't come! Someone please don't act this way... The dream i dreamed seems true if we continue like this... >.<" I can do nothing...

I don't want to be moody! took my McD breakfast, feels better... 23.03.2011, please end soon! I want back my spirit!

Got my salary, feels great! At least something happy happened! =)))))

多疑的我

"只是一个星期，却犹如一年；
表面的问候，牵强的话题；
联络，就只因为要联络..."

以上，都是我自己多疑吗？我太空闲了？我希望是~
因为，那全都是我最害怕的...我最担心会发生的事情...

好累~~

晚安！

讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲讲

你到底烦不烦？一大堆废话！你讲得做的全部都是对的？！

伸冤

FB 不再是我能够任意发泄的地方了。。。只有在这里，我能把心里的话完完全全的发泄出来！

什么想当年，什么原来，什么不应该，什么 A Level，什么什么什么！全部都是你在讲！
有老公在背后撑腰就很了不起？*$^@(*#&%!T@*&$*@$!

每次要人帮的时候就一副可怜样！在别人背后说别人这个不对那个不该！自己做错的你有讲吗？你老公也一样！整天以为自己就是道理！自己不会做错！你们两个是圣人？

当初要不是你跟妈妈讲STPM有这个有那个，A Level 有这样有那样，妈妈会教我读STPM？我跟你讲我没有！从来没有后悔读STPM！唯一遗憾：STPM 是你提议的。。。

是是是，你的学生最厉害！狗眼看人低的本领更是听呱呱！

为什么没有人要相信我？就只会说我这里不对那里不对。。。。好你们对完。。。所有事情都是我一个人的错！

28th Jan 2011

Just back from Pasar Pagi! Not as crowded as I expect... Last week already wor before CNY, how come not much people there? And, things are still very expensive! I thought the price will drop cause people usually wanna clear all stock before CNY mar... this year really weird..

Yeah, happy thing, I saw 3 person who seldom come out. Really surprise to see them there.... They are Mr&Mrs Yip(My English tuition teacher) and Dr.Wee. Mrs Yip is doing well, I guess, but Mr.Yip doesn't look good. When I talked to him, I feel his neck cannot move or what? I'm not sure... Just feel that he's not doing so well due to his nose cancer... Mr.Yip, take care!

Guess what? My mom met with her ooooooollllllldddddd friend! i use 'ooooooollllllldddddd' cause she's really an old friend to my mom! They never see each other for 30++ years! Now she's in New Zealand, coming back for CNY this year with 3 sons. And, her mother(the grandma of the son i'm referring to) come and ask me:

"Do have have friend?"

"Yea, I do"

"Boyfriend?"

"Eeerrrr.... No?" (dearrr, sorry~~ My mom was there... hmmmm....)

"My grandson is a doctor, working in Singapore now. He get high salary!"

"Oh, is it? I just finish my "11th place"(STPM), now waiting for result"

"You're still studying?"

"Ya I'm still studying..."

%&^*$(#)@($&*%^&^($*&^%#$*

Do I look that old? =.=" Okay, I look matured, NOT OLD!

Okay, now this young girl is going to Kuantan. Buhbye~ =}

回家路上的感想

1月25日，Kok Shi(二姐夫) 的公司摆收工酒。和以往一样，被爸爸笔者去参加。=.=! 唯一不同的是，二姐不再跟我们一起出发。自助式的收工酒，整个气氛都好乱！吃到一半，才看到二姐夫来，二姐却不见人影。过了大概十分钟二姐才来。哦，因为二姐吃饱后要回关丹所以自己驾车来。

妈妈因为要回家做饼，说以我们吃饱就会了。回家前，我拍了拍二姐的肩膀，和她道别。

一路上，我很静；想了很多。

现在要我写出我所想的，我办不到。思绪实在是太乱了。我只能说，今天的感触真得很深，让我很不好受。

到家，妈妈说了一句话："我真得很不喜欢他们那家人。有钱人讲话，实在是难顶。"

我想：母亲真的很伟大！为了孩子所喜欢的，自己受委屈业无所谓。妈妈，对不起。我不懂该如何帮你，安慰你。唯一我能做的，就是为你祷告。妈，要记得凡是依靠神！我知道甘马挽教会的问题，让你和神的关系也渐渐的远了...我真得很希望你能来吉隆坡！跟我们一起去教会~

01-01-2011

First of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
As usual, nothing special for me on the new year eve. Movies, PC, etc...
However i knew this year is going to be one of the greatest inflection point of my life~
Waiting for result which determine my future, deciding for courses that i would take which holds the rest of my life, entering into the most unforgettable university life like what others told me...
Well, i suppose 2011 will be wonderful and exciting to me!

New year, new start...
If i hold this word 2 years before, i bet i will not be so miserable now... worrying of my stupid MUET and STPM result... (i know it would be bad....) I WANT TO BE A DOCTOR! THIS IS MY AMBITION!
So the consequence is I might forced to let off my dream... My Biology I'm not going to score an A in paper2 in know..... Really sad to think of it T.T What I hope for now is to at least get a B.

If I can get a huge amount of money now, hahahahaha!!! I wish~ [who don't?]

我有我的计划！
为什么要干涉我？
我并没有说我不要做工，只是我去玩了过后就会在吉隆坡找...

对，我知道你是担心我，但可不可以让我自己决定我想要做的事？
就这样，我所安排，所计划的一切将被破坏...
真的我不是不要做工！
九个月假期难道我不怕闷吗？我当然怕！我一定会找工的嘛！

以前你擅自帮我安排工作，问也没问就叫我去做；
现在你安排我去见工！

当初一考完试我已经搞输过你我的计划，你不作声。
如今你不当一回事！

你要我如何是好？
我真得很乱，真的不知该如何是好.......

思

凌晨4.30，我一个人还没睡...

突然有很多的想法，很多的感触。

我恨自己没有遵守承诺，再出去读书之前我告诉自己不能再懒散！

我要好好读书！4A绝对不是梦！

我没有好好把握机会...

我走回旧路，堕落！

就这样最后的机会落空~

成绩还有三个月才出，但我大概知道自己是如何收场。

MUET？更加不用提...

刚看到一个status:

You can take your time to success, but how much time you parents have?

对，非常对！

爸妈，对不起...这句对不起我说得很愧疚...

原以为SPM的教训后我会改过自新，谁知我好是老样子...

做医生的梦poof灰飞烟灭~

不敢想了...

连大学拿不拿到都是一个问题

拿不到，家里好有钱供我读书吗？

你们都不年轻了

是，我不忍心看你们辛苦供我读书...

真的走头无路，只好出来做工咯，不用再浪费时间...

Broken heart

Every time your words are hard don't you realize it? Our thinking is become totally different! TOTALLY! Since whenever you said we're off different way, we should stop from what we are... We've made things to become worse.

Hope, there's no more hope... I won't hope you for anything! You and I we've back to our own comfort zone and I think we're no longer need each other... Since you have your own things to do and you said you're not free to entertain me, fine I get you... I was too naive~

I'm so stupid so useless!! STOP!! I said i will never cry!!! NEVER!! So stop now!!!!

I'm back yo! XD

Long time never blogging~ Really loooong time... Few days ago went out yumcha with 91G, JiaYing told me she've not read xixi's blog for a long time... Me too!

When i wanted to read, i found JiaYing's blog is locked! how come~~~ T.T unlock it ler i want to read~~

Yingz also changed her blog address... Luckily she sent it to me :) thanks! hee...

Really bored to stay home, doing nothing... Though these few days the whole house is busy with my sister's wedding preparation, still i feel boring... Raining everyday, making me feels so lazy~~~

还重不重要？

想了很久，到自己都不知道自己处于清醒或不清醒...
考虑了很久，都不知道结果会是怎样...
找了很久很久，都找不到答案...

经过昨天和今天，我想我要的答案出来了...
我在你心目中已经不再重要了...
以前说的还能兑现吗？我想我是时候要醒过来了...
这样下去是不会开心的！

问题能不能解决？
试过开口，但似乎不被重视...
难道你看不到问题的严重性？
还是你选择了不去管它？

最终还是被忽略了...
我，不再重要了...

我要解决这问题！请你重视它！
不要以为事情模模糊糊就能一了了知！

一切，都变了...
承诺？哈哈哈哈...开玩笑！

嘴巴说说当然简单！
不要说你，我也做不到...